


An End and a Beginning

by cheney1317



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, USWNT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2014-04-02
Packaged: 2018-01-01 17:35:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 34,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheney1317/pseuds/cheney1317
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tobin and Alex are happily married and ready to spend the rest of their lives together, but they get some news that may either bring them together or tear them apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> words between the * are thoughts

"Ms. Heath, Ms. Heath!" Tobin sat there unconsciously fidgeting with the ring on her finger. She was lost in deep thought. "Ms. Heath we need to talk about your options from here."

"No not now. I need some air." With that the midfielder left the office that had just changed her life. She exited the building and just walked. Walked until she could gather some part of her thought. She finally stopped at a park bench, letting the cool breeze flow through her hair. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths. 

*How could this happen? How was it even possible? Was this real life?*

 

Eventually Tobin made it back to the office she had come from. She told them she would come back in a few days to discuss options, but for now she just needed some time to soak it all in. Then she headed home to try to get something good out of the day.

As she drove home she faced an inner debate, should she tell Alex or wait a while? Alex needed to know, but she didn't want to distract the forward. No, she couldn't tell her, not now. She had to wait to wait and see if she could fight it. She knew she could live with it and beat it. 

She parked the car in the garage and put a happy face on before she went inside. Tobin found Alex in the kitchen chopping up vegetables. She went up behind the forward and wrapped her arms around her waist and laid a kiss on Alex's cheek. Before Tobin unwrapped her arms, Alex turned and brought her kiss to Tobin's lips and put her own arms tightly around the older woman. 

 

"Hi!" Alex spoke, finally breaking away from the embrace. 

"Hello." Tobin replied, sounding as happy as she could. After a few moments, Tobin couldn’t look into Alex’s blue eyes any longer and she had to look away. Alex continued chopping up the vegetables and Tobin looked through the mail. 

Alex and Tobin had been happily married for a little over a year now, and they had been in love since the moment they had met. They were finally settled into their first house after coming off the Olympics and then winning the first NWSL championship. Now they were fully unpacked and loved living so close to so many of their friends. 

“How was your day with Cheney?” the forward asked while she cleaned off the knife she had been using. Tobin tried to think what Alex was talking about, she hand’t seen her friend in a few days. 

“Tobin!” Alex tried to get her to snap out of her trance. Then Tobin remembered that a day with Lauren had been her cover story. 

“It was great Lex. We just grabbed some lunch and talked.” Tobin finally replied. “It will be good to see everyone in a few weeks for camp.”

Alex finished up her preparations for dinner and got it into the oven. Then the two women sat on the couch and watched tv. Alex tried to snuggle up close to Tobin, but she noticed the midfielder wasn’t really responding. She looked at her and noticed that Tobin’s eyes weren’t even on the tv, but staring off through the window. “Tobin what’s up with you tonight?”

“Nothing Lex, just thinking.” Tobin said quickly. Crap Tobin, get yourself together and act normal. “You know just thinking about camp and who is going to be there.”

“Yeah, there will probably be some new faces there considering we have some time before our next tournament.” Alex agreed. “Tom probably wants to see as many options as he can.”

The two continued to make light small talk until dinner was ready. After they ate, the two returned to the couch and this time Tobin fully embraced the woman next to her. Their bodies melded together and as Alex’s breath began to deepen, Tobin thought about how much she loved her wife. 

*Alex had looked so beautiful on their wedding day. As she walked down the aisle, Tobin had to fight back tears at her beauty. The midfielder’s eyes were locked on her fiancé through the entire ceremony. When she was finally allowed to slide the forward’s wedding ring onto her left hand, an enormous smile came across her face. When they were told they could kiss the bride, the two soccer players met in the most passionate kiss they had ever had. Surrounded by their best friends and family, it was easily the best day of Tobin’s life.* 

 

They were both looking forward to their future together. Now that they had some time with less soccer, they were starting to consider starting a family. But now? Now there was this news, and Tobin had to somehow find a way to tell Alex. How would she hold up after she heard? Tobin had to make sure she waited until she was sure Alex could handle it. Tobin was going to fight for her family. 

 

A crash of thunder jolted the sleeping midfielder from her sleeping thoughts. The room was now dark and quiet except for the light rain hitting the windows. Tobin looked at her phone to find it was the middle of the night. She moved the hair from the forward’s face and planted a kiss on her head. 

Alex stirred awake groggily and Tobin lead her into the bedroom. When they got into bed, the forward was no help to Tobin. The older woman, lifted Alex’s legs to pull down the covers. When Tobin got into bed, Alex was quickly beside her, nestled in for a long night’s sleep. And Tobin didn’t argue, all she wanted was to be with the woman she loved for as long as she could.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin has a lot on her mind and things to deal with, but all she wants is to fix things and be with Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions

Over the next few days Alex would wake up to an empty bed every morning. She would always find a note from Tobin that she had gone for a run and that she would be back soon and that she loved her. During the day the women would workout in preparations for their upcoming camp.

Tobin seemed distant to Alex. The forward had noticed a change in her wife's demeanor and on top of it all, Tobin was out again all afternoon.

"So how bad is it?" the midfielder asked as she was back in the office. "What are my options?"

“Tobin, you are in excellent health right now,” the doctor explained. “I don’t think you need to be too worried right now. We found it early enough that we can treat it rather easily.”

The news that Tobin was hearing made her breath a little easier. She wanted the news she had to tell Alex to be as good as possible. _Maybe if things were good enough, she wouldn’t have to tell her at all._

"You are very lucky that we caught it early on. There is only one area of cancerous cells and it doesn’t look like it’s too deep in the tissue.” The said, Tobin continued to listen. “My recommendation would be that we go in and remove the tissue as soon as possible. Then we will have you on medicine to keep your systems strong. That should take care of it without having to do any intense treatments.”

Tobin was happy that the treatment wasn’t too bad. This mean’t that she could still play soccer and most importantly live, and get to be with Alex. “So when can we do this thing?” she asked eagerly.

“Well the sooner the better. So we could look to do it with in the next week or two.” he said.

“Is there anyway for me to do this without felling my wife?” The midfielder asked. She wanted to keep it a secret as long as possible. “I just don’t need her worrying right now.”

“I am actually going on a business trip to another hospital in Philadelphia in ten days to sit in on a procedure.” the doctor informed Tobin. “If you’d like to go to Philly, I can get an OR there and remove the mass.”

Tobin pondered the offer. _This would be the best option for keeping it form Alex, but how would she make it to Philadelphia without her wife knowing?_ What could be her excuse? Tobin knew this was her best chance right now so she had to take it. “Yeah doc that would be great!”

Before she left, Tobin and the doctor got things scheduled and he gave her some prescriptions for the medicine to keep her strong. On her way home she got the prescriptions filled, then drove to their house. This time she entered this house with a new enthusiasm.

"Lex I'm home." No answer. "Alex where are you?" Then Tobin heard a sound behind her. As she turned she felt a familiar body slam against her and arms around her.

The midfielder caught the younger girl in her arms. The two met in a passion filled embrace. "I missed you" the forward broke away.

"I missed you too babe." Tobin responded, pulling Alex into her again. They continued kissing for several minutes, "Lex," Tobin breathed heavily. "Upstairs."

They somehow managed to make it to their bedroom, Tobin carrying the forward the whole way. The spent the next few hours in bed together, until the midfielder had to stop. She could feel her body tiring so she told Alex that she just wanted to lay with her. Both women laid wrapped in each other, Alex's head on Tobin's chest and Tobin rubbing the forward's back until she spoke.

"Alex, I talked to Perry today." She began, lying about talking with her sister, who she knew would play along eventually. "She is going to move to a new apartment in the city and I still have a lot of there. Anyway, I was thinking I would fly out there for a few days to clear it out."

"Well when are you going babe?" Alex asked. "Then _we_ could go."

That's what Tobin was afraid of, but she knew Alex had commitments with Nike and her sponsors. "I looked at some flights and it looks like the best time would be to it is next week."

"Crap! I have to go to LA for a shoot and commitment next week." Alex sighed. "I'm really sorry Tobs. Can you go by yourself."

"Yeah I totally get it." She replied. "Besides I know it was really last minute too. It's just that Per didn't expect to find something so quickly."

Alex brought her head up and gave Tobin a loving, understanding kiss. Then they fell asleep.

The next day Alex had to call her agent about her upcoming trip. Tobin took that time to call up her sister Perry. She had to somehow work up the courage to tell her sister and ask her not to tell. Tobin went out on their deck and dialed the number.

"Tobyy!!" She heard an excited voice. "What's up little sis?"

"Perry I need to talk to you." Tobin got serious and her sister could tell.

"What's wrong? Are you and Alex okay?" The older woman asked worriedly.

“Yeah Per things are okay.” Tobin began. She didn’t really know what to say. “Listen I need you to do something for me. Are you available in the next few days?”

“Anything Tobin, yes I can be.”

“Can I come and stay with you? I have some things I need to take care of.”

“Did something happen with you and Alex?” her sister asked.

“No Perry nothing happened.” Tobin said. “Alex has a shoot in LA and I need to meet with someone out there. Listen I will send you the flight information and see in soon. Oh and please don’t talk to anyone about this until I talk to you. I love you” Tobin hung up the phone before Perry could say anything else.

The next couple of days the women worked out a lot in preparation for their upcoming camp. Occasionally there were some times when Tobin had to force herself to stop. Shooting pain would wretch through her abdomen and she would have to tell herself it was only a few more days and it would get better.

For Alex, there was no denying that her wife seemed a little 'off'. She just acted somewhat down, but then she would also be oddly cherry when Alex was around. Whenever the forward tried to ask what was up, Tobin would tell her nothing and give the younger woman a kiss and change the subject. Alex was nervous but hoped some time away with her sister would fix things.

The morning that they were both leaving for their separate trips, both Alex and Tobin packed up their bags and drove to the airport. Once they had gotten checked Tobin walked Alex as far as she could to her gate.

"I'm gonna miss you Lex." The older girl said, then pulled Alex into a deep kiss. For the first time in days, the forward felt the binding connection they shared with the love and passion in their marriage. Now all she wanted was to stay in Tobin's arms and never let her go.

"Me too." Alex replied. "Can we just cancel our trips and go back to the house together."

Tobin knew she had been neglecting Alex, but this trip would be the end of it. When she got back everything would be better and Alex would never know anything had ever been wrong. "It's a few days. I love you!" With that they parted ways and headed to separate sides of the country.

When her plane arrived in New Jersey, Tobin rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She had fallen asleep while thinking about how to break the news to Perry. Once she got off the plane she heard her name being called and quickly met the embrace of her older sister. "Tobin Powell Heath, you had better tell me what the hell is going on."

The younger Heath managed to hold off the barrage of questions until they returned to Perry's apartment. "Why don't you sit down Per, I need to get this out so please do not interrupt."

Tobin took a deep breath and began. "A couples of weeks ago I decided to go see my doctor because I had been feeling off for a little while. I was feeling sick to my stomach a lot and tired. After he ran several tests we discovered that I am in the early stages of stomach cancer."

At the word 'cancer' Perry's eyes immediately widened with shock and fear, but she didn't interrupt. "We found it early enough that the doctor thinks he can get the small mass of cells before there is any spread. I am here because he will be in Philadelphia tomorrow to remove it. Then we will just monitor things and I will be on medicine to keep it away. Hopefully I will be fine after tomorrow."

When the midfielder was done talking, her sister still stayed silent. She stood up and went to the younger girl, wrapping her arms around her small body. "Tobin I am so sorry. I am here for you for anything. When is your surgery?"

"Thanks Per, I really appreciate it." Then Tobin stood, "ok so we need to get to Philly today. My surgery is tomorrow morning and I am checking in tonight so they can monitor me before. Oh there's June other thing. We cannot tell anyone about this. I am going to beat this thing and I don't want to worry anyone."

"Tobin I won't tell anyone and you're welcome to stay here until your ready to go home, but I think you should tell Alex and the family. They could will support you through all of this." The midfielder didn't answer just stared at her feet. Seeing that her sister would budge Perry knew she was her support for now. "So you ready to go?"

The two Heaths began their two hour car ride after they ate a quick lunch. The ride seemed tense as both women were scared for what would come from Tobin's diagnosis.

When they arrived in the new city they checked into the hospital that Tobin's doctor was going to be. By the time they got her all set up in her own room it was evening and the doctor was there. They started checking her vitals and getting her hooked up to many machines.

Once she was all settled, the doctor, Dr. Rae, explained the procedure. "During surgery tomorrow we will go in with a scope to remove the diseased tissue. Not that it doesn't have any risks but it should be a rather straight forward operation. Recovery time is pretty quick and you will have very minimal scarring."

"How long will it take to know if you got everything and she will be okay?" The protective older sister cut in.

"We will monitor Tobin closely for the next for few months and she will also be in medications. From there she should continue with regular check ups. Any other questions?”

Tobin and Perry were then left for the rest of the night. They tried to make the atmosphere as light as they could, but the situation wouldn’t allow it. Eventually Tobin pulled out her phone and sent Alex a text: _Hey Babe! Hope you made there safe. I love you so much and miss you!”_

It was starting to get late and Tobin was feeling bad that her sister was here with her. “Perry why don’t you go to a hotel for the night and get some sleep. At least one of use should be comfortable.”

“Knock it off Tobin. You’re crazy if you think I’m leaving you here alone.” Perry let out in a loving tone. “I am going to be here every step of the way. Especially until you stop being so stubborn and tell your wife what is going on.”

“Thanks Per, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Tobin said, secretly happy that her sister was with her. They talked about what was going on with Tobin and Alex, and also what Perry had been up to for a while. They both finally turned in for the night when it was after midnight. Tobin tried to sleep, but hardly a wink of shuteye found her that night.

In the morning, Tobin woke up and Perry was gone. The younger wondered where her sister was because it was getting close to time for the nurses to come and take her to prep. When she looked beside her she found a note: _Tobin I went to the chapel for a little while. I will be back before they come for. Love ya!_

Tobin pulled out her phone while she waited. She wanted to call Alex and talk to her to tell her she loved her one more time before her surgery. Tobin knew it wasn’t a major survey, but she was still a bit scared and she prayed that everything would go well so she could put all of this behind her.

“Hello,” Tobin heard a the tired, raspy voice on the other end. She realized that she and forgotten about the time difference and that Alex would still be asleep because it was early in the California.

“Oh my gosh Lex I am so sorry I forgot about the time difference-“

“No don’t worry about babe, whats wrong?” Alex asked.

“Nothing I was just calling to say hey and see what you had going today”

“I just have one shoot today. Then I have a meeting with my agent about a possible sponsorship. You?”

“That’s great. I’m just hanging out with Perry today. I think we may go to the store to get some stuff for her apartment.” Tobin lied. “Listen I’m going to let you go , but I want to tell you that I love you so much and I cannot wait to see you soon.”

“I love you too Tobin!” Alex said to her wife. They hung up the phone as Perry reentered the room, followed by Dr. Rae and some nurses.

The doctor checked her charts and readings and felt around her stomach. Then he used a marker to mark where on her stomach he would be using the scopes during the surgery. “Alright Tobin, we re ready to take you back now.”

Perry and Tobin joined hands as the nurses started to lead them into the hall. The older woman went as far as she was allowed then said good-bye. “Everything is going to go great Tobin.” she said, stroking her little sister’s hair. “I will be right here when you get back.” With that she kissed Tobin on the head and let her go, wiping the tear form her own eye.

In the operating room, they hooked Tobin up to new machines and exposed her stomach. She lay there and all of a sudden her fears hit her. She was nervous that things weren’t going to go okay. _Everything has to go okay. Please God let it be okay. She was going to go back home to Alex and they were going to start a family and grow old together._ Darkness was coming to Tobin as the medicine kicked in. _She loved Alex and and her family and her friends and she was going to be with them_ …. darkness.

Tobin woke up to the beeping and hum of machines. Perry was beside her, her hand locked around the younger woman’s. Perry looked at her with a smile, then got the doctor to come into the room. “Hello Tobin. It looks like everything went great. You’re going to be okay.”

She smiled. _Thank God_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin has to deal with her problem, and she chooses to do it alone.

It had been several weeks since Tobin’s surgery. It had been deemed a success. Dr. Rae said they got all the cancerous tissue and that Tobin should be good and they would continue to monitor her. She had stayed with Perry in New Jersey for a week after the surgery to get her strength back before she went back home to Alex. When the midfielder walked off the plane when she got home she was ecstatic to see that Alex was picking her up. She practically ran into the forward’s arms and wrapped her up in an embrace. “Gosh Tobs I missed you too!”

They went home and life as they knew it continued to be normal. Tobin was back to normal, maybe even better, and Alex loved it. They worked out every day together to get ready for the camp. The only new thing was that Tobin now seemed to be taking more medicines.

* * *

About two weeks later, Tobin and Alex were working out with Lauren. It wasn’t any workout out of the ordinary, but something felt off for Tobin. They were in the weight room doing a heavy lift, when the younger midfielder began to feel ill, her stomach turning and vision slightly blurry. She quickly sat down on the bench and brought her towel to her face. After several minutes she felt a little better and stood up to continue, but found she was unable to.

“Hey guys I’m going to head out to the field to get some touches.” Alex called across the weight room. Both midfielders nodded in response.

Unknown to Tobin, Lauren had seen the whole thing that Tobin had just experienced. She came over to Tobin and out a hand on her shoulder. “Tobin are you alright. You’re looking a little pale.”

“Yeah Chen I’m fine.” Tobin said. She tried to stand up and straighten herself, but a pain shot through her abdomen. Lauren caught her and held her steady. “Okay maybe I’m not so okay. I need to get out of here.”

Lauren lead Tobin to her car and then went to find Alex. "Hey Lex me and Tobs are gonna head out. You stay as long as you want." Alex said she was going to stay for a while and she would see them later.

When they got to the house Tobin ran inside to the bathroom. Lauren waited outside for. When the smaller woman came out she still looked pale and sick. "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm good." Tobin said, but that's not how she felt. "It was probably just something I ate."

"Well let me make you some soup and we can watch a movie." Lauren suggested. Tobin didn't object and they hung out until Alex got home then continued with their lazy night.

Since the team was having camp in a week and half, Alex and Tobin had scheduled appointments to get updated physicals. They both parted ways and headed to their doctors.

It had been a few days since Tobin's little incident and since then she never really felt well. She breezed through the physical then headed to Dr. Rae's office.

The midfielder told her doctor what had been going on and asked what it could be. Dr. Rae was eneasy about Tobin's new symptoms and said he wanted to run some tests and do a few scans. He told her not to worry and said he would call with all the results in a day or two.

Meanwhile Alex was with her own doctor. She said that things were looking great with the forward and that she was all healthy. They decided to take some blood just to see how things looked and Alex too was sent on her away, awaiting the results.

It had been two days and both women were eagerly awaiting the news on their tests results.

Tobin was outside doing yard work while Alex was in the house working in the computer. The phone rang and she wiped her wind blown hair out of her face before she answered. "Hello."

"Ms. Heath this is Mary with Dr. Rae's office." Tobin knew this would be the results of her tests. "We have the results of the tests we ran the other day and were hoping you could come in to the office."

"Can you just tell me over the phone." Tobin asked.

"Ma'am Dr. Rae said he'd really prefer to talk to you in person." The nurse replied. Tobin knew this couldn't be good.

An hour later, after telling Alex some bogus story, the woman sat in the office nervously fidgeting her fingers. When the doctor came in he wasted no time in telling Tobin what he had found.

"Tobin I have all your results and I'm afraid it doesn't look good." The doctor signed. Tobin's demeanor dramatically turned. "Your scans show several new masses in the stomach tissue. It looks like we didn't find the original mass soon enough. Based on the spread I'd say you are in stage I of stomach cancer. I am very sorry."

Tobin sat on the table, stunned at the words she was hearing. _Did he really just say stomach cancer. Full blown cancer? What am I going to do? How will I tell Alex? How long do I have?_ The midfielder was in shock. Dr. Rae began listing some of their options for moving forward with a treatment plan, but Tobin didn't register any of it. "Um can I get back to you? I need to think about it."

"Yeah take some time to soak in what I told you." Dr. Rae sympothized. Then he handed her a stack of papers. "This is information about the cancer and the treatments. Look it over and talk to your wife. But you need to do it soon because you need to start treatment."

With that Tobin made her way out of the bullding. When she got in the car she couldn't move. She sat there for what seemed like hours. The ringing of her phone finally brought her out of the trance. She answered, to find the cheerful voice of her best friend. “Tobs, Jrue and I were wondering if you and Alex wanted to come over for dinner. We were thinking of cooking out and then having a fire.”

Tobin didn’t answer. _Should I tell her? She is my best friend and may be she could help_. “Yeah Chen that’d be really nice. I’m not home right now but Ill let Alex know.” She paused, then went for it. “Lauren, c-can I come over and talk to you?" The curly haired midfielder was happy to have her friend over to talk, but she was nowhere near prepared for what she would soon hear.

When Tobin arrived both women went to their back yard to speak in private. Lauren could see the hesitation in her friend and it was starting to worry her. "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

“I uh,” she didn’t know what to say. “I went to the doctor today.”

Lauren was confused as to why Tobin was telling her this. “Okay so what.”

“Well um, so you know that we when Alex went to LA for business and I went to visit Perry and help her move." Lauren nodded. "I wasn't actually helping Perry move. I went there so she could take me the Philadelphia Memorial Hospital.”

"Tobin I don't understand what you mean."

"I went there to have a cancerous mass removed from my stomach." Tobin blurted out. Then everything started to come pouring out, along with some tears. "I went to the doctor cause I felt off and he found that mass, but he could take care of it without it spreading and so we wouldn't have to tell Alex. He got it all in the surgery, but then last week I didn't feel well again so I went back. They got my tests back today and..."

"And?" Lauren wondered.

"And I have more masses. I'm in stage I stomach cancer." Tobin said bringing her hands to her face to wipe the tears in frustration.

Lauren was stunned by the news she had just heard. Her arms immediately went around the smaller woman to comfort her. Tobin let her friend hold her until her sobs subsided. “How could this happen Chen? What am I going to do?”

“Tobin you are one of the strongest people I know.” The older woman said, putting her hands on Tobin’s shoulder’s and giving them a firm squeeze. “You are going to fight this and beat it. And me and Alex, and Jrue, will be right here by your side while you do it.”

“No I’m not telling Alex.” she cut in. “I’ve dealt with it once without her knowing and I can do it again.”

“Tobin you have to tell Alex.” Lauren pleaded. “She is your wife. She will kill you if she finds out and you haven’t told her.”

“Well it won’t matter much by then will it?” she tried to be funny. Lauren did not think it was funny. She gave her a swift punch in the arm. “Ouch! That’s going to leave a mark. Look I’m gonna see if I can do what I did before and have the masses removed before they spread. I’ll just go back to Philadelphia and have Dr. Rae perform the procedure. Alex will never know.”

“I don’t agree with you Tobin and I don’t want to talk about it anymore right now.” Lauren said plainly. “You should go home and get Alex, we are still having dinner. I’ll see you in a little while and for now I won’t tell Alex.”

As Tobin left, she turned to add something. “Please don’t tell anyone else either. Thanks Chen!” Lauren nodded her response and Tobin went to get Alex so they could have a fun night with their friends.

A few hours later they were all back together having a great time as if nothing had happened. Jrue made dinner on the grill while the three women were inside preparing other foods and talking about camp. The evening was uneventful and just what everyone needed.

When they got to camp, Tobin was relieved to see that she was rooming with Lauren. It had been less than a week and she was already struggling with not telling Alex. "What did the doctor say Tobin?"

"After this camp is done I'm going right to Philadelphia and he is going to try to get it all out before we have that camp after break. Then I guess we'll go from there." Tobin replied.

"Not that I am not optimistic Tobs, but what if they can't get it all?" Lauren asked. She was trying to be realistic.

"Then I will start treatment. Like radiation or chemo or something." She said in a voice that was choppier than she thought was needed.

The camp went pretty well for the team. There were some new faces and many familiar ones. It would only be a week long camp for their game against Columbia. Tobin had to admit that she felt great for someone who had just been diagnosed with cancer. She was all set to go to Philadelphia and Alex was all good with her to 'go see her sister' again.

The US won the game easily, Alex scoring two goals and Tobin asisting one as Lauren's. After a night filled with fun and hanging with the team, Tobin left for the airport. She had long goodbyes with Alex and Lauren. Lauren told her to call right after and let her know how everything went. Tobin told Alex how much she loved her and that she'd call.

* * *

 

"This better be the last time I have to see you in here." Perry joked when she walked back into the hospital room after Tobin changed. "This is it I'm telling you."

"Oh don't lie. You love seeing me so much." Tobin said back in her chill tone.

Perry's face got serious. "Yeah I like seeing you, but not under these circumstances. And I hate keeping this a secret Tobin. When can we tell the family?"

"If this doesn't work and I have to try other treatments I promise I will tell people.” Tobin promised. “I just want to try to get this behind me without people having to know. “

“Tobin people would want to be here with you, to support you.” Perry explained. “I don’t know why you won’t accept any help.”

Before Tobin had the chance to respond Dr. Rae came into the room to prep Tobin for her surgery. “Tobin I am going to try to limit the procedure to only using the scope like I did before, but I can promise anything. Once I get in I’ll have to asses the damaged tissue.”

Tobin and Perry both nodded. Then the nurses began to roll the midfielder away. She started to have a bad feeling. She was nervous about what would happen when she was on the table. Before they took her away Tobin pulled her sister into a tight embrace. “Will you go to the chapel for me?” Perry could sense her younger sister’s nerves and gave her a comforting kiss on the head. Then headed right to the chapel.

When Tobin woke up she knew something wasn’t right. Immense pain shot through her body and Perry was nowhere to be found. When she looked around she found her sister outside speaking with Dr. Rae and another woman she didn’t recognize. They talked for several more minutes before They made their way into the room to be with Tobin.

Perry took the frail hand with sorrow in her eyes. “How are you feeling Tob?”

“Tired and kind of in pain.” Tobin replied. She just wanted to hear if she was going to be okay. “Whats going on? Did they get everything?” Perry looked down at the floor, unable to meet her sister’s gaze.

Seeing that the older Heath was struggling to answer, Dr. Rae stepped forward. “Tobin when we went in with the scope we found that there we couldn’t get to the masses just with the scope. I was forced to open up your abdomen and what we found wasn’t good.” He paused and rubbed his forehead before continuing. “I found uh…I found several more masses than I had originally thought and some were also worse. It hasn’t spread to any other organs, but the cancer is deeper in the stomach tissue than I said. I’d have to say you have moved into stage II. I am so sorry.”

Tobin starred blankly at the wall behind them. _She had no idea what she was hearing except that they couldn’t get it all. What does this mean? How long do I have? I can’t do this, I have to live and be with Alex. We still have so much of our lives to live together._

“So where do we go from here?” Perry asked, seeing that the midfielder wasn’t going to answer.

“Generally with this type of cancer we treat the patient with chemotherapy or radiation or a combination of the two.” he explained. “The combination can be very hard on the body, but usually works best. Ultimately it is up to you what you’d like to try.”

She thought about her options and what she had to do. Yes Tobin wanted to get better, but she also knew she wanted to play soccer. The team had camp in less than two weeks and if it was going to be her last chance she wanted to play. “I want to play soccer. I will do whatever I need to do to still be able to play next week. I need to be able to play one last time.” She said as she tried to hold back the tears that threatened. Perry moved closer and took her sister’s had to comfort her.

“We can get you started on a round of chemo today and you should be okay for your camp.” Dr. Rae said. “Although I cannot promise you will feel one hundred percent when you play.”

That day, Tobin was hooked up to her first round of chemo to treat her stomach cancer. Perry stayed with her the whole time, and helped her through her symptoms. She pleaded with Tobin to tell their family, but Tobin refused once again. Perry did go against her sister’s wishes and called Lauren to tell her the news, hoping she could get through to Tobin when they got to camp.

Back at their home, Alex sat wondering what Tobin was doing right then. She wondered why she had been spending so much time with Perry instead of her. Just then her phone rang and her heart jumped seeing that it was Tobin. “Hey Tob what’s up, I’ve missed you baby!”

“Lex I have missed you so much. I um, I have some bad news.” Tobin began, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell Alex the news over the phone. “Perry needs a little more help than we thought. I think I am going to stay and help her and meet you guys when camps starts. Is that ok?”

Alex heart sank at the midfielder’s words, but she knew that Tobin needed to spend time with her family and she could sense that she really needed this. “Yeah that’s totally fine. Tobin is everything alright?”

“Yeah Lex everything is great.” Tobin lied. “Hey I’ve got to go, Perry is calling. I love you so much Alex.” Tobin hung up the phone quickly so the forward wouldn’t hear the tears fall form Tobin’s eyes.

Over the next week Tobin finished her first round of treatment and was starting to get some of her strength back. She was now just on medicine to make her stronger and fight of any type of infections she was vulnerable to. She packed up her belongings from the hospital and got ready to go to camp. Luckily the camp was in New York so It only going to be a short drive for the sisters. When they arrived Perry pulled Tobin in to a tight embrace. “Tobin Heath I love you so much. When this is over you are going to beat this thing okay.” Tobin nodded and got out of the car to go into the hotel.

She was happily greeted by her teammates that were in the lobby. Even though it had only been two weeks, she was happy to be back with her closest friends. Lauren came up to her and pulled her into a hug, “We need to talk.” but Tobin was too distracted by the sight of her beautiful wife to hear her friend.

They quickly ran to each other and Alex jumped into the arms of the woman she loved. After sharing in several deep, passionate kisses they finally separated and talked about their time apart. No matter how much pain Tobin had been feeling, it was all gone now that she was reunited with Alex. And she knew that no matter how bad things would get, as long as she had her wife everything would be okay.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are several surprises along the way, but the truth finally comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update. I hope you enjoy, let me know what you think.

  
Tobin had managed to avoid Lauren all night and spent every moment with Alex. It felt like it had been ages since she had seen her wife. Alex too, was happy to have Tobin back, but she could also see that something was off. She looked frail and when things started to get heated as they kissed, Tobin stopped them just as Alex was about to remove her shirt. “Not tonight Lex. We need our set for fitness testing tomorrow.” Alex reluctantly agreed, and went back to her room. 

 

Before Tobin made it down to breakfast, Lauren found her and cornered her. “Tobin what is going on?” Tobin kept her eyes on the ground. Lauren put her hand under the smaller woman’s chin and their eyes met. “You can tell me.”

 

     “It didn’t work.” she said dejectedly. She lifted her shirt to show an incision on her abdomen. “They had to cut me open, and they found deeper masses than they thought. Dr. Rae said it has progressed, but it’s not to other organs, yet.” She laid her head her head on her friend’s shoulder and silently cried. “I don’t want to die Lauren.”

 

Tears were now streaming down the other midfielder’s cheeks. This was her best friend, and now her life was in danger. In that moment, Lauren Holiday had no idea what to say. She just held her friend as they both cried together. 

 

Little did the two midfielders know that just down the hallway, HAO was watching. She wasn’t trying to ease drop, but she heard crying as she left to go meet the team and she wanted to make sure whoever it was was okay. She only caught bits and pieces of the conversation, but she knew something wasn’t right because two of the happiest people on the team were wrapped in a hug, sobbing. Instead of butting in, she kept her mouth shut and went to meet the team for breakfast and training. 

 

After a while the women wiped their eyes and decided it was time to go down. When they walked into breakfast they say at a table with Alex, Syndey, and Kristie. Tobin greeted her wife with a passionate kiss. For the remainder of the morning things seemed to go back to normal. The team shared stories and laughs at breakfast and then got on the bus for their first practice. 

 

At practice, small signs of Tobin’s illness were visible. After some testing the team did the beep test. Tobin, usually being one of the last one’s out, was done in the middle of the pack. When people asked she just said it was an off day. The midfielder did the best she could for the rest of the practice, but by the end she hanging on by a thread. Tobin ran over to her bag and fumbled with a bottle of her pills. She took it before anyone could see and then got ready to go back to the hotel. 

 

     “What do you want to do tonight, Tob?” Alex asked when they got back to the hotel. The team had off for the rest of the night after the intense training session. 

 

Tobin could feel the aches and pains through her body and all she wanted to do was feel better. “Lex I think I am going to take an ice bath and do some recovery before we lift in the morning. Then Lauren walked by to confirm that they were meeting to ice together. The younger midfielder said shed be up in a minute. “You can come with us if you want.”

 

     “I’m actually feeling pretty good, but maybe I’ll come in a little while.” Alex replied. She kissed Tobin on the cheek and headed up with Pinoe. “See you in a bit.”

 

     “Shoot Cheney, could you make this thing any colder.” Tobin hissed as she slid into the ice bath with her friend. “But I guess it will be work it later.”

 

Lauren laughed, but agreed with Tobin and they sat in the cold water until their time was up. When they got out, Lauren told Tobin she would stretch out her legs before they had dinner. Tobin felt significantly better after she was stretched. “Chen if soccer doesn’t work out for you, you could totally be a professional masseuse.” They both laughed and the curly haired midfielder helped Tobin to her feet. Then they went down stairs. 

 

     "Do you want to go back to your room an watch a movie Lex?" Tobin asked after dinner. With a the secrecy she felt like she was neglecting her time with Alex. The forward jumped at the opportunity to spend some alone time with Tobin. 

 

Once they got upstairs, Alex popped in the movie and joined Tobin on the bed. Alex put her head on Tobin’s chest and traced circles on her stomach over her shirt. Tobin was glad she had out a sleeve over her incision, so Alex wouldn’t feel it. She pulled her wife closer to her for warmth, as she could feel herself drifting. Alex could hear Tobin’s breath getting longer and smiled. She nestled into Tobin’s chest and let herself drift to the beats of Tobin’s heart. 

 

     “Tobin,” the midfielder heard her named whispered. She opened her eyes to find Heather leaning over her. “It’s late, you should head to your room now.”

 

She sat up and slid out of the bed, leaving Alex with a kiss. “Thank HAO. See you in the morning.” She went to her room, took medicine, and immediately fell sound asleep again. Morning came way to fast for Tobin. She dragged herself out of bed and down to the weight room with the team. As Dawn told them to partner up, Tobin found Kelley. After their hard lift they ate and got ready to go to the fields. 

 

At practice, Tobin was struggling more than she had the day before. She felt slower than usual and she couldn’t find her rhythm. Lauren tried to help her out but she just snapped at her and told her that she was fine. She was forced to secretly take a pill in the middle of practice and that allowed her to make through the remainder of the session. 

 

When Alex got on the bus after practice she found Tobin in their seat already with her headphones on. Alex didn’t know why Tobin was like this, if something was wrong so she just sat beside her and out headphones on too. Meanwhile, Tobin was deep in thought. She was angry that she could already feel her body deteriorating. The midfielder didn’t know why she felt this way, but she was detached from her teammates and just wanted to be left alone to fight the pain she was feeling. 

 

As they got off the bus, she tried to give Alex a reassuring smile, but they both knew it wasn’t real. Tobin went right upstairs and Alex waited for Lauren. “Alright Cheney I know there is something going on with Tobin, and I pretty sure you probably know what it is.”The midfielder was caught off guard by the abruptness of Alex’s comments. 

 

     “Look Alex, nothing is going on.” she lied. She didn’t know how to make both of her friends happy, but she also knew that Alex would find out eventually. “But if you’re worried about something you should talk to Tobin. We are meeting at the pool in a half hour to stretch if you want to come down.”

 

The forward just stormed away. HAO had seen the who conversation and she wanted to see if everything was okay so she approached her fellow middy. “What was that all about?” 

 

Lauren rubbed her eyes in frustration. “Oh just something going on with Tobin and Alex and communication is all.” She smiled and wen to the elevator. The other woman let her go, but inside she knew that something was going on and she got the feeling that it wasn’t good. 

 

     “You told her what!” Tobin said as Lauren stretched her right leg. Lauren grid to explain her reasoning, switching legs. “Ouch!” she yelped, bringing her hand up to her stomach. Lauren looked at her with worried eyes. “I’m okay it just pulled a little in the wrong way.”

 

     “Tobin you’ve got to stop this.” the worried woman said sternly. “You are killing yourself out there and its getting worse every day. It hurts me to see you like this and it’s even worse that I have to keep it from Alex, the woman who loves you more than anything else in the world.”

 

Just then the door to the pool opened and Alex walked in with a look of determination on her face. Tobin quickly got out of the water and wrapped herself in a towel. Lauren excused herself to give the couple some time. They both sat down on a long chair, in silence. Finally Alex spoke in a soft voice. “Tobin please just tell me what’s going on. You’re starting to scare me.” Alex was holding in her tears. 

 

Now Tobin felt completely ashamed that she was scaring Alex. All she wanted to do was keep her safe, but still Tobin couldn’t find the strength to tell her what was going on. Tobin stood from the chair with a slight wobble. “Everything is fine Lex.” Alex just looked up at her and scoffed. knowing there was something else. By now Tobin was pale, had bags under eyes, and was sweating. Before Alex could say anything else, Tobin turned and left the pool area. Alex just sat there, anger filling her body. 

 

Tobin took a breath when she left the room. Lauren caught up to her as she walked past. “What happened? How’d it go?” Tobin didn’t answer so she pulled her to a stop, but was shocked when she saw the state of the midfielder. “Oh my gosh Tobin are you alright? Here go in here.” She lead her into a bathroom. 

 

After throwing up for several minutes, Tobin sat on the floor of the bathroom, not having enough strength to stand. “Everything is better now. I’m feeling better already.” she said unconvincingly. Lauren lead her to her room and got her changed into dry clothes. Then the curly haired midfielder made Tobin lay down for a while. “Chen I’m fine, and we have dinner soon.”

 

     “No you’re staying up here to rest.” She answered with ‘the look.’ “I’ll tell them that you were feeling well. which you’re not. Beside you are lucky I’m not telling them whats really going on.”

 

With that Lauren left Tobin to sleep, and within minutes she was fast asleep. At dinner Lauren told the staff that Tobin wasn’t coming to dinner. When they asked to go see her, she told them it was just something she ate so she would be better in the morning. Lauren avoided Alex through dinner, but she could definitely see that she was furious. After they ate their was a short team meeting and then they were given the night to do what they wanted. 

 

Lauren was hanging with Abby and Pinoe when Alex came up to them and asked to see her. They walked out of the room before Alex said anything. “Look I am mad that Tobin didn’t come down to dinner because she didn’t want to face me and I am angry that you guys won’t tell me whats going on, but when you see her will you please tell her that I only want what’s best for her and I just want her to tell me the truth.”

 

     “Yes I will tell her. It’s getting late so I’m going to head up to bed now.” Lauren was about to leave, “and Alex, Tobin is sick tonight and that’s why she didn’t some down. The truth will come in time.” With that both women retreated to their rooms for the night. 

 

The next day Tobin was at her worst. She felt terrible and looked awful; she still had bags under her eyes and looked a lot paler than her usual self. She wasn’t surprised when she looked up on the bus and Alex was sitting with A-Rod and Lauren was making her way towards her. When they arrived at the fields, Lauren tried to talk to her, but just walked away. 

 

After doing drills for a while, the players broke into teams for small a small sided scrimmage. Tobin tried to put all her pain and discomfort aside and give it her all to play the best. She was finally playing somewhat like the Tobin that she knew. They were close a water break when Tobin dropped into the middle to defend. A cross came in and the smaller midfielder went up for a header against Abby. The forward hit Tobin full force with all her body. Tobin went crashing to the ground with a thud. She stayed on the ground, curled in ball holding her abdomen. 

 

     “Tobin are you okay? I am really sorry.” Abby said, bending down to the ground. Tobin just pushed her hand away. Abby looked to Alex for an explanation, but she just shrugged her shoulders 

 

The training staff hurried over and started asking her questions, but she avoided all of them. “No I’m fine.” Lauren knelt down beside her to help her up. The hurt woman again pushed away the help, “Let go, I can do it myself.” They let her go and they finished the playing until the break. 

 

They all took a few minutes to get water and gather themselves before the scrimmaging continued. Tobin took the chance to take another pill to help her throbbing midsection. Abby came over to her to see if they were all good and Tobin made sure to tell Abby it was okay and she was sorry for freaking out. 

 

In the middle of the next scrimmage, Tobin started to fade. She was seeing dark spots and things were getting blurry. She bent down to catch her breath and shook her head out, nodding when Crystal asked if she was ok. As she started playing again, Tobin could feel her chest tighten up and all the breath left her. She hit the ground again with a thud, but this time she had passed out. 

 

Upon seeing the unconscious woman, everyone rushed towards her. This time, Alex was immediately by her side. “Tobin, Tobin! Come on baby can you hear me?” Abby had to pull the screaming forward back so the trainers could look at Tobin. After a few moments they still couldn’t wake her and called for the ambulance. With the whole team circled around the commotion, they all waited. It was only a few minutes before they got there, checking her vitals and throwing questions around, mostly to Alex. 

 

     “Is she on any medicines? Has she been sick at all?” the paramedics asked. 

 

     “I-I, I think she’s taking more vitamins or something and they said she didn’t feel well last night.” Alex replied, but really she had no idea. 

 

The medics rolled her onto a gurney, giving Alex a questioning look. Lauren knew she had to say something so she pushed past her teammates to the middle. “Yes she has been sick. She has cancer.”

 

From there things seemed to be in slow motion. Everyone looked at the midfielder in disbelief. Alex turned to her, “No she doesn’t. She would have told me.”

 

     “Ma’am, do you know what kind of cancer and how long she has had it?” the medic asked Lauren. She replied that it was stomach cancer and she thought Tobin had known for sure for about three weeks, but it could have been longer since they had suspected it. Alex just looked on in disbelief. 

 

Tobin was loaded into the ambulance and it drove off the field. All the women stood in silence, shocked. Alex was in the front of the group. She was feeling so many emotions.  _How could this happen? Is it really true, but why didn’t she tell me?_  Then all she felt was anger and hurt. 

 

They all started to break up and move around as the staff talked about what to do next. Lauren approached Alex hesitantly. “Alex I-“

 

     “Don’t!” Alex cut her off in a shout. She pushed the midfielder away from her forcefully. Lauren fell back and the other women turned and ran to them. Abby ran to her partner and held her back. “Don’t say anything to me.”

 

     “Alex stop!" Abby said as the smaller forward fought against her. "She was just trying to keep you safe."

 

By now Lauren was back on her feet. Alex shot her a look if disgust. "Please let me go." She sad as she tried break free of Abby's grip. When she got free she walked away from her teammates. The staff thought it would be best to end practice then. They took Alex and some of the other players to the hospita in separate cars.

 

Once at the hospital they were told to sit in the waiting room and a doctor would be out shortly. The wait was tense seek gas what had happened at practice, but they were all able to sit there in silence.

 

     "Tobin Heath" a woman in a white coat said. Alex, followed by the others stood up and went to her. "I was informed that Ms. Heath was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer. Today she had a complication because she has been over exerting herself and not taking proper treatments. She is stable and resting now. I have contacted her primary doctor and am waiting to hear back form him. I’ll take you back to see her.”

 

They all followed the doctor and when they got to the room, Alex went in while the others waited in the small waiting room. The room was silent except for the beeping of the heart monitor and the sound of oxygen filling the tubes. Tobin lay motionless in the bed, pale and fragile. When the forward sat down beside her, she didn’t even want to touch her. Tobin started to stir when Alex held her hand, and when she opened her eyes a look of sorrow and shame filled her hazel eyes. 

 

     “Tobin Heath, you have some serious explaining to do.” Alex said with a stern, but comforting eye. Tobin knew there was no going back now. She squeezed her hand around Alex’s. “Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?” Tears were threatening Alex’s eyes. 

 

With tears threatening her own eyes, Tobin tried to put her feelings into words. “I didn’t tell you because I thought I could beat it myself. Then you wouldn’t have to worry and we could be happy together. I thought I was strong enough.” She looked away to hide the tear that fell down her cheek. 

 

Alex pulled her eyes back to meet her own. “Tobin, you are my wife and I love you. I would do anything in the world for you. No matter how bad things could possibly get, I will always be here for you and you are crazy if you thought that you having cancer would change the way I feel. 

 

The midfielder breathed a sigh of relief at Alex’s comments. She as so thankful that she had the support the woman she loved, and now everyone around her that would find out. She brought Alex’s hand to her dry lips and kissed them. Alex let her tears fall. She was scared because she didn’t know anything about Tobin’s illness and she liked to be in control. The sad thing was, Tobin didn’t really know either. “Lex I think it’s getting bad” she rasped out. “It already spread some and I just have been feeling really bad lately.”

 

     “But Tobin, have you done any treatment?” Alex asked.

 

     “I’ve already had two surgeries and done one round of light chemo, plus I’m on some medicine.” Tobin answered, lifting her gown to she Alex her four inch incision. Alex soothingly touched the wound, feeling hurt that Tobin had kept such a secret. But Alex had been keeping a secret of her own. 

 

The forward could see that Tobin was struggling to stay awake as she stroked her hand. “Tobin, look at me. I need you to stay awake for few more minutes.”

 

     “I’m so tired Lex.” the frail woman sputtered out. 

 

     “I know baby.” Alex whispered. She held Tobin’s hand tightly and tears streamed. “Tobin you have to fight this. We are going to get through this. Do you want to know why?” Tobin just looked at her wife. “Tobin you are going to be a mother.”

 

The midfielder’s eyes widened at the news. She brought Alex’s head up and rested her forehead on Alex’s. “I love you so much!” was all she could say. She was ecstatic that Alex was pregnant, but at the same time she was worried that she might not make it to see their son or daughter. They stayed there, holding each other until Tobin gave in to her medicines a few minutes later. 

 

Outside, the team sat waiting. Lauren could see her two friends holding each other and crying. She was to the point of breaking but she knew she had to stay strong. She sat down beside A-Rod and waited. When she heard the door close and saw Alex before them, she stayed in her seat. The rest of the women stood to offer their support. Alex ignored them for the time being and went right the the midfielder. Lauren stood and was immediately enveloped in the arms of the sobbing forward. She too let her tears fall as she held Alex. “I am really sorry Lex.”

 

     "No Cheney I'm sorry for earlier, I overreacted. Thank you for looking out for Tobin." Alex apologized. 

 

     "Excuse me," the female doctor from earlier said. "I've spoken to Tobin's doctor, Dr. Rae, and he was in Philadelphia so he is coming here. He should be in within the hour to examine Tobin." 

 

     "What do you think is wrong!" Abby butted in.

 

     "It is imperative that she starts treatment for the cancer before it spreads any further." The woman stated. "We will know the plan of attack for sure once Dr. Rae gets here."

 

The team was left to wait, all the tension now gone and replaced with uncertainty. After a while Tobin’s doctor arrived and went in with her, Alex followed him in. He checked Tobin’s charts and results and ran some tests of his own before he said anything definitive. “Tobin I’m sorry to say that your condition has worsened. We need to start you on treatment before it is uncontrollable. If you’re ready we can start a double round of chemo and radiation tonight.” Before Tobin could respond Alex nodded yes and he went to order the medicine. 

 

     “Tobin are not holding off any longer. You have too much to live for to just sit here and wait.” Alex said. Tobin just smiled. “Is it okay of some of the girls come in to see you?” Tobin nodded with some excitement. 

 

Alex went into the hall to get some of the players. Lauren was the first one in and was immediately by her best friend’s side. All the women talked for a while until a nurse came in with all of Tobin's treatments. The players stood to leave, but Tobin didn't want them to go. "No you don't have to go. They are just putting toxic chemicals inside me. I still need people to talk to.” The team smiled that even in the face of cancer. their Tobin could still make the situation light and funny. 

 

The nurse started a new iv line in Tobin’s other arm and hooked up the medicines. After two more hours of hanging with her friends, the midfielder was fighting to keep her eyes open. The team said their good byes and headed back to the hotel. After Alex had walked her teammates out, she noticed Tom and Dawn still sitting in the waiting room. “What are you guys still doing here?”

 

     “We wanted to talk to you about where we go from here.” Tom replied. Alex looked on hesitantly. “Don’t worry, Tobin has the full support of all of us on this team as well as US Soccer. We are going to take things slowly and see how it goes. She will always be a part of this team, and we expect that you will need time with her also. Right now we want you to focus on being with Tobin and getting settled in treatment so she can get better.”

 

     “Thank you so much.” Alex said gratefully. “So, Tobin wanted me to ask you something. She just finished her first round of chemo and they said she could continue treatments here until I am done with camp, then we will go back home to Portland and they are going to try to remove it. Can she still come with the team on days when she doesn’t have treatment? The doctor says its good for her to keep her strength up and stay involved in the things she loves.”

 

     “Alex, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Tobin answered. Alex smiled and berthed a huge sigh of relief. “Like I said, we support Tobin and she is always welcome and encouraged to be here. Now go and be with your wife. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

The next morning Alex helped Tobin into the van that was waiting to take them back to the hotel. Tobin had made it through the night without any side effects, and after getting a central port for her treatment put in her chest that morning, the midfielder was eager to get out of the hospital and back to her team. As they drove to the hotel, Tobin leaned her head against the window, watching the scenery pass by. Alex was beside her, holding their hands together. The couple knew it was going to be a long road ahead, but they had the support of so many people and the motivation of a family to fuel their fight.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with the news and continuing to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Hope you like it!

Tobin was met with reassuring hugs and comforting words from the team and staff when she returned form the hospital. She was glad to be back with the people she called her family. Over the next couple of days Tobin continued her first week of treatments at the hospital and then she would go back and be with the team.  

 

The sick woman would go into the hospital in the mornings and sit in a recliner as nurses hooked her medicines up to the line in her chest. She'd sit there with her bible in hand, sometimes listening to music, and look at the sick people around her praying that she would never have to be there that long. The hospital setting seemed it I dampen her mood, but her face would brighten when she returned to her team. Tobin had yet to experience any major side effects from the drugs she was on and it surprised her friends that she was able to be with them every day and still have her thousand watt smile across her face. 

 

On the field, the crafty midfielder did everything she could to stay on the field. The training staff decreased the intensity that she sis things at, but for the most part Tobin continued to anything she felt up to with the team, knowing that staying active would help her in the treatment process. When the training sessions were over and the team would go back to the hotel, Tobin continued to do stretching and stuff with Lauren. Not only would it help her body, but the younger woman enjoyed getting to talk with her best friend. They would talk about simple and unimportant things and sometimes they would talk about what was going on in the present and what could happen in the future. Even though she couldn’t tell her about Alex’s pregnancy yet, Tobin confided in the curly haired woman spilling her fears. 

 

Mostly Lauren just listened and allowed her friend to vent. When she could she always offered her support. “No matter what happens, Tobin, I will always be here for you and Alex. When we go back home Jrue and I are just a phone call away.”

 

It was the last day of camp and Tobin was already finished with her week of treatment so she got to be there all day. Today, though, she felt more sick than usual. She made it through the first session without anything happening, but in the afternoon the nausea took over. In the middle of a small scrimmage, a pasty looking Tobin bent over with her hands on her knees. When Rachel asked if she was okay, she shook her head and walked off the field. Immediately some of the medical staff were with her and sat her down. Alex look on with worry etched on her face, and Tobin signaled that she was fine. 

 

Back at the hotel Alex met up with Tobin to help her pack for their flight the next day. The forward was sure to put all of her wife’s medicines in her bag. “Are you feeling any better Tob?”

 

     “Yeah less tired and just a little nauseous. The medicine they gave me really helps.” Tobin replied continuing to pack. Then she got an idea, turning to Alex with a fresh look in her eyes. “Lex let’s go to the pool for a while.”

 

They finished packing and went down. Alex’s eyes couldn’t help but stop when they came upon the bulge of the port in Tobin’s chest for getting her treatment. Tobin could see the stare as she walked into the warm water. “It won’t be there forever you know.”

 

Alex quickly shocked her head and followed into the water. “I know. Sorry.” She took the older woman’s hand and lead her to sit down. Alex slowly began to stretch Tobin’s tired legs then moved to her upper body, delicately touching every inch of her skin. Tobin leaned back on the steps so just her head was out of the water and allowed herself to feel weightless beneath Alex’s touch. The younger girl sat beside her and wrapped her arms around Tobin so she was under her, keeping her afloat. Tobin let her head rest on Alex’s shoulder as the striker continued to gently massage, her fingers occasionally catching on the small scar on the midfielder’s stomach. 

 

For a while the couple talked. Tobin asked what time their flight was and then momentarily objected when Alex told her they weren’t going home right away. She had booked two tickets to New Jersey so they could tell Tobin’s family all their news. In the end the reluctant midfielder agreed it was best and leaned back into Alex. They stayed there for a while and eventually Tobin’s eyes started to drift into sleep and her body became heavy against Alex’s. 

 

After a while some of the other girls came in with smiles on their faces at the sight before them. Some snapped pictures and then they joined them in the water. They moved around in the pool talking and laughing until it was time to get ready for dinner. Alex kissed Tobin on the cheek and the midfielder’s eyes widened when she saw all her teammates looking at her. Everyone laughed at her surprise and then they got out and headed their separate ways. A little while later the team left to go out for a nice dinner before everyone left. 

 

Tobin came down in black jeans and a v-neck with a beanie and glasses on. When Alex came down she met her wife with a kiss and told her she looked gorgeous. At dinner, Tobin began to experience side effects to the treatment and asked to go back. She told Alex to stay and have a good time and Lauren was going to go back with her. Back at the hotel, the midfielder spent most of the evening hunched over the toilet with Lauren holding her hair back and rubbing her shoulders. When she was finally able to sit up, Lauren lead her to the bed where she laid down. The older woman scooted in beside her and pulled the sick woman into her, laying her head on her chest. “It’s okay Tobs, just get some rest.”

 

     “Thank you Chen!” she said nestling in. Lauren rubbed her back. “I’m so tired.”

 

     “Shhh. It’s just the medicine.” Lauren soothed. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

 

A few hours later Lauren heard the click of the key card followed by HAO and Alex. Alex came over and placed some of the hair behind Tobin’s ear and kissed the sleeping woman on the cheek. Alex and Heather got each got changed, HAO went back to Alex’s room so the forward could stay with Tobin. She slid into Lauren’s spot and held her wife until she fell asleep. 

 

The next morning everyone met in the lobby to say their goodbyes. Alex and Tobin were among the first round of people leaving. They all promised to stay in touch before their next camp in a month. Once the couple arrived in New Jersey they rented a car and drove to Tobin’s family home, where they were all set to have family dinner. It had been a while since Tobin had seen all of her family so she was excited to see them again. Dinner was very enjoyable, but it was after dinner that brought the youngest Heath sister anxiety. 

 

The family was all sitting in the family room when Mrs. Heath spoke up, “So I noticed that neither you aren’t drinking any wine tonight. Do you guys have something to tell us?” 

 

The couple looked at each other, knowing they had to say something. Tobin felt conflicted with their good and bad news so Alex responded. “I’m pregnant!” Everyone exploded in congratulations, but Tobin stayed in her seat, meeting eyes with Perry, both of them knowing what was coming next. 

 

When calm returned to the room, Tobin leaned forward. “I um, I have something to tell you guys.” The family looked at her with worry spread across their faces, seeing the seriousness in the woman. Alex took her wife’s hand, urging her to continue. “I’ve got cancer.” Silence filled the Heath house as everyone soaked in what had just been said. Perry moved to sit beside her sister, rubbing her back. 

 

     “What are you talking about Tobin?” her mother asked in confusion. “How long have you known?”

 

     “A couple of weeks.” Tobin said with shame. “I thought I could beat it before I need to tell anyone. Heck I didn’t even tell Alex. But it’s gotten worse so now I’m telling you guys. But we are going to beat this thing.” 

 

Smiles came to the people sitting around the midfielder. “Yes we are!” Tobin’s father spoke up. The rest of the night consisted of talking about what they would need to do with Tobin and about when Alex was due. They were all excited to add a new member to the family, but Alex and Tobin were sure to tell them to keep it a secret until they told the team. Alex was planning on playing in the friendly in a month and then they would tell their friends afterwards. When the Heaths asked if it was safe for the baby, they told them that Alex would be fine because it was so early in the pregnancy. 

 

The next morning they all said goodbye and Alex and Tobin flew home. Once they were done unpacking, Tobin’s imagination took over. She ran around the house showing Alex her plans for when their child arrived. How Alex would pick the colors and Tobin paint the nursery and then build a crib. Next she would set up a little soccer field in the backyard because their child was going to be a superstar just like its moms. For a while all the worries of Tobin’s illness were gone and the excitement of the baby took its place. 

 

* * *

The next thing Alex knew she was sitting beside Tobin with the smell of hospital air filling her nostrils. A nurse hooked up a bag of drugs to the line in Tobin’s chest and they were left to wait for the chemo to enter her body. The forward watched as Tobin calmly sat in the recliner knitting. “Teach me how to do that?”

 

Tobin looked up and saw that Alex was serious. “Come watch me.” They spent the whole time they were at the hospital trying to get Alex to be able to knit. She struggled at first, but eventually started to catch on. Before they knew it Tobin was done and they were free to go.

 

Over the next few weeks Tobin continued with rounds of chemo at the hospital. She would only occasionally experience side effects and when it would happen Alex was always by her side to care for her. Overall she felt like she was getting stronger and was hoping to be a part of the camp they had coming up. The couple consistently found themselves hanging out with Lauren and Jrue. Both twosomes were getting closer and closer, and their support would prove vital in the future. 

 

A week later the national team came together in LA, and Tobin was among them. She was in an off week of her treatment and feeling stringer than she had in a while. As the game neared, she worked with the training staff and was cleared to play if Tom chose her. The morning of the game, the midfielder found Alex sitting alone at a breakfast table. “What’s wrong Lex?”

 

     “Nothing” she replied. “It’s just, today is going to be my last game until after I have the baby. It’s kind of bittersweet you know. My last game for a while, but you’re back.”

 

Tobin kissed her wife and held her face in her hands. “Today will be amazing and we will be back on the field together soon enough, hopefully with one less burden to bear.” Alex smiled and they finished eating. 

 

As the starting line up was announced, many of the players were a little disappointed that Tobin wasn’t in the starting line up because of how hard she had worked to get back. After the first half, the match was still even at zero apiece. Tobin was informed that she would be subbed in and a grin came across her face. As she entered the game, she was surrounded by cheers, none ringing louder than those of her teammates supporting her through her quiet struggle. 

 

The end of the game was nearing a Tobin received a ball and carried it down the left side. She megged the defender and carried the ball end line. Before being tackled by another defender she sent a cross in to a streaking Alex who chipped the ball into the back of the net. Cheers erupted throughout the stadium and Alex ran to the woman who assisted her goal, bending down and looking into her eyes, smiles across both of their faces. 

 

After the game ending they walked off the field arm in arm, Alex looking around taking in the sights of her last game for a while. In the locker room the girls were all excited from the win. After talking with Tom, Alex stood on her chair and got everyone’s attention. “I have some big news.” Some of the girls gave her ridiculing comments and she just laughed them off. “Funny guys! I want to say that this will be my last game for a while.” Everyone looked at her with confusion, but then a huge smile crossed her face. “I’m pregnant!” The room exploded in excitement. 

 

     “How far along are you?” Christie asked. 

 

     “Eleven weeks.” Alex answered. The veteran mom gave her a quick hug and told her if she needed anything to let her know. 

 

They finished up and the team headed out to dinner. It was a very good time and when they came back, they got ready to fly home. The next day Tobin, Alex, and Lauren flew home together and Jrue picked them up at the airport. After a few days of being home, Alex worked with her agent to set up a press conference to announce the pregnancy. She received loads of support from her thousands of fans. 

 

Because Alex was getting farther along into the pregnancy, Lauren began taking to her treatments to keep the expecting mother away from any harmful effects in the hospital. The older midfielder watched as her friend slowly seemed to return to normal. With every treatment their confidence grew that Tobin would beat the cancer. 

 

Back at the house, Alex had finally picked out the color that the nursery would be and Tobin had bought the crib she would put together. Alex was now eighteen weeks along so she and Tobin had an appointment with her doctor. As they did the ultrasound, the couple’s grip became tighter at the sight of their unborn child. Tobin had tears in her eyes and Alex was shocked. “Look Tobin, that’s our baby.” Tobin just stood there smiling. 

 

After the appointment they went to the store to pick up the paint color they wanted. Tobin told the forward that she would probably have to finish painting after the camp they had in a few days. Alex agreed with Tobin’s thinking and paid for the paint while Tobin walked outside. “Hey Lex will you drive home, I’m not feeling great.” Tobin asked, and Alex immediately took the keys and quickly drove home. 

 

Tobin laid down for a little while and then got up and went into the nursery to start painting. The smell of the paint filled her nose and brought with it a wave of nausea. The midfielder put her discomfort aside and  poured some of the paint and began rolling the walls with the new color. Downstairs, Alex sat on the couch reading. She heard footsteps upstairs and figured Tobin was up. After a few minutes she heard a thud and dropped her book and ran up the stairs, finding her wife on the floor of the nursery. 

 

     "Oh my God Tobin! Come on wake up!" Alex yelled frantically. She continued to stroke the fallen woman's face until she came to.

 

     "I'm fine Alex." Tobin said when the worried forward wanted take Tobin to the hospital. 

 

     "You just passed out" Alex yelled, stating the obvious. "You honestly think I'm going to let you not go."

 

     "How about I call my doctor and schedule an appointment for tomorrow?" The older player suggested.

 

     "Fine, but no more painting today." The pregnant woman demanded. "Come downstairs with me and we can curl up on the couch." 

 

They spent a quiet evening wrapped up in the couch before they retreated to their bedroom early, both women exhausted from the days events. In the morning Alex drove Tobin to her doctors appointment. Both of them were nervous about what the doctor was going to say when he came into the room.

 

When Dr. Rae came in, they could see that something must have shown up on the scans. “I’m sorry to say it doesn’t look good. Your scan showed new masses that have grown into deeper layers of your stomach and has started to spread into the surrounding lymph nodes.”

 

The women sat in shock for a moment before Tobin finally snapped out of it. “Where do we go from here?”

 

     “I think the best option is surgery to remove what we can.” the doctor explained. “At this point it looks like that would be a gastrectomy. We will open up your abdomen and remove the parts of your stomach that have been taken over by the cancer. I’m sorry to drop this bomb on you, but do you have any questions?”

 

The midfielder could not believe what she was hearing. How could this happen when she felt like she was getting stronger? “When do we have to do it? We leave tomorrow for camp and a game and I’d like to go.”

 

     “Tobin you have to understand that this cancer is getting worse and taking over your body.” he said trying to get her to see how bad it really was. “I’ll allow you to do this camp because it will be the last time you will be able to play for a long time. We will schedule the surgery for right when you get back.”

 

Alex could see the shock and awe in the older woman’s eyes. “Thank you Dr. Rae. We will see you in a week.” She took Tobin’s hand and lead her to the car. They drove home in silence. Before they got out of the car Alex tried to talk. “Tobin, baby can you say something?” 

 

Tobin didn’t say anything. She had no idea what she could say. All she felt was anger. All of a sudden she lashed out, slamming her fists into the dashboard. It startled Alex, seeing Tobin so angry, and tears came to her eyes. “Tobin stop!” She took the midfielder’s hands and brought her close. “We are going to get through this.” Tobin wrapped her arms around Alex and sobbed into her shoulder. They sat in the car for a while crying and holding each other. 

 

The next morning they flew out with Lauren and Jrue. Tobin was visibly saddened by the thought that this could be the last time she would be playing with her team. When Lauren asked Alex what was going on, she too was in disbelief. When they arrived at the team hotel Tobin immediately sought out Heif so she could set up a press conference. She knew she owed it to the fans to tell them what was going on and let them know how important they were to her. 

 

They keep the news from the team, except for Tom and the staff, until the press release. Everyone gathered in the room they had set. There were cameras and media at the ready and Tobin walked up to the podium, praying that God would give her the strength to bear the cross she was carrying. 

 

           _I am here today because I want to tell you all that I was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer._  An audible gasp came from the people who didn’t know. Reporters wrote as Tobin continued. _I was diagnosed a few months ago and we took every possible measure to treat it. Through it all the cancer has worsened and I am now in stage III. I regret to inform you that this will be my last camp for a while._ Tobin had to stop for a moment to try to collect herself.  _I will be having surgery to remove_   _all cancerous tissue immediately following this camp and I will be spending every moment I can with my wife as we await the arrival of our first child. I’d like to thank all the people who have been around me giving support; my wife, Alex, who is my best friend and has sacrificed so much for me, I love you more than words can describe._  Tears were streaming down the forward’s face and Lauren took her hand for support.  _To my family who has been with me since the beginning and helped me get to where I am today. My team,_  Tobin turned her gaze to twenty-some women sitting beside her, tears in many of their eyes.  _You are all the best friends I could have ever asked for, we have laughed together and cried together and I know we will continue to, you have all pushed me to be the very best I could be and we have achieved greatness together. Most importantly, though, I am proud to call all of you my family and I truly cherish the relationships I have with rah and every one of you. Thank you for all you have done for me and continue to do for me._ At this point tears were rolling down the midfielder's cheeks.  _Lastly I'd like to thank the fans_. She looked around the room and then right into the camera.  _You are the best fans in the world and you I thank you for your endless support. This is not goodbye, it's simply see you later because I am going to fight this thing to end, and with God and all of you behind me, I plan to see it through to the end. To all of you and anyone else I may have left out, thank you._  


 

With that Tobin wiped her eyes and walked off the stage to her waiting teammates. Alex met her with hug and a kiss and then the team came together in a large group embrace. Then they all walked out of the room together. Outside they all continued to hug and wipe their eyes. Tobin was glad to have the support of her friends, but she also didn’t want them dwelling on it. “Guys everything is going to be alright. I am still a part of this team, I just have to take some time off.”  Everyone laughed at their midfielder’s light heartedness and went to get ready for training. 

 

Over the next few days, Tobin put everything aside besides soccer. She wanted to enjoy every moment she could on the pitch and with her teammates. Since the press conference she had received support in many places; on social media, in the news, and from many fellow athletes. With all the support and training they had done, Tobin was ready for what could be her final game wearing the jersey she loved.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin's surgery and trying to get back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I am really sorry I have been MIA for so long. Special thank you to uswnt17 on tumblr for motivating me to continue with the story!!

It was the day of the game and nerves shot through Tobin’s body. At breakfast Alex came up behind her and started rubbing her shoulders. Tobin thought it was kind of funny. “You know Lex, you’re the pregnant one. Shouldn’t I be the one rubbing your shoulders?” 

 

Alex kissed her wife softly and replied, “Trust me you need it more today.” Tobin kissed her back and thanked her. Then they split to get ready for the game. 

 

On the bus, all the midfielder could do was stare out the window. Before they got off the bus, Alex took her hand and left it with a kiss and a reassuring look. When the team ran onto the field for warm-ups Tobin stood on the sideline waiting for her fellow New Kids. As she waited she looked around the filling stadium, seeing all sorts of signs with inspiring words. Tears came to her eyes as the three of them came together in prayer before jumping onto the field. The other two ‘kids’ gave her big hugs before they jumped. Then Tobin began her final warm-up. 

 

In the locker room, everyone got changed for the game. The material of the jersey felt soft on Tobin’ skin as she pulled it over her. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to find her captain. "Tobin the team, we want you to lead us out there today." Christie slid the captain's arm band onto the midfielder's arm. As she looked around the room she could see her teammates putting arm bands of their own on. Each was a periwinkle band, for stomach cancer, embroidered with the words ‘#heathstrong’ and 17. Tobin couldn’t contain her smile at the support of her team. 

 

When they walked out Tobin felt an amazing sense of pride as she lead her team onto the field. Once the game started, the crafty mid was totally in her element. She was nutmegging the opponent left and right. Pretty soon the US was up 1-0 off a header from Abby. In the second half, Tobin finally got her moment to shine. She pinched into the middle with the ball on the right side. As the ball was sent across, Lauren let the ball ride past her to the waiting midfielder Tobin sent the ball flying into the back of the net, to the sound of the entire stadium cheering on the hero of the day. Tobin leapt into the arms of her best friend and was swarmed by her teammates on and off the field. Then she looked up to the team’s suite box and pointed to her wife, who was cheering loudly. 

 

Minutes later the substitution board came up and Tobin’s number flashed on it. Her final game had come to an end. Slowly she jogged to Christie and handed off the captain’s band. The veteran met her with a hug and then the other players came to her. After lots of tears were shed, she neared the sideline, but Lauren grabbed her and brought their heads together. The curly haired midfielder whispered words of comfort to her friend as she cried and then lead her off the field. 

 

When the game was over the players congratulated one another especially Tobin. The midfielder took her time walking around the field, thanking the fans. By the time Alex made her way to field level, She found Tobin with tears in her eyes. Hand in hand, they walked around the stadium one final time, then left the pitch, being the last two to step into the tunnel. 

 

After a long night of celebrations the team said their goodbyes and headed to the airports. The midfielder was sure to personally thank every one of her teammates, and they reciprocated with their support. On the plane Tobin leaned her head against the window, with her hand tightly intertwined with Alex’s. Worries of her upcoming surgery filled her mind and she soon drifted into a restless sleep.

 

     “Tobin, “ the midfielder jolted from her sleep to find Alex hovering over her. “We are back, you ready to go.” She nodded and the three women walked to the car, happy to be home. After saying goodbye to Lauren, the couple spent a quiet evening at home before Tobin’s surgery the next day. Alex whipped up Tobin’s favorite stew and curled up on the couch with her. 

 

When their tv show ended, Tobin took their dishes to the kitchen and then pulled Alex to her feet and wrapped her in a hug. “Come Lex, let’s go to bed.” The forward wanted nothing less than to nestle beside her wife and be close to her before tomorrow. She was nervous about what the surgery would bring for Tobin. Alex hoped that it would take care of the cancer and Tobin would be on her way back to the game loved. But what scared her most was that the surgery wouldn’t work and she feared the midfielder wouldn’t get to see their child grow up. Tobin sensed the worry, “what’s on your mind baby?”

 

     “Nothing Tobs, just thinking.” Alex replied, not wanting to voice her concerns. She just wanted to focus on being with Tobin for tonight. 

 

     “Don’t worry Alex. Everything is going to be okay.” Tobin continued, knowing what Alex was worried about. “Tomorrow morning we are going to go to the hospital and Dr. Rae is going to get this thing out of me. Then we are going to come home and finishing getting everything ready for our new addition to the family.” Tobin finished, giving Alex a kiss. 

 

The forward sighed and leaned into Tobin. “How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?” She laid her head on Tobin’s chest and pulled the blanket up over them. 

 

     “Because I know you too well and I love you so much!” she pulled Alex in close to her as her breaths evened out. “Goodnight Lex.” Behind her string facade, the midfielder had the same worries as her wife and she prayed that tomorrow would bring the news they all wanted to hear. 

 

When they arrived at the hospital, Tobin was checked into a room and prepped for surgery. A little while later she heard her best friend round the corner and her curly haired friend in front of her. Tobin was glad she had Alex and Lauren there for support and that Alex would have someone with her while Tobin was in surgery. After several people had come in and talked to them about what was going to happen it was time for them to wheel the midfielder to the operating room. Alex went as far as the nurses would allow before kneeling down to be level with Tobin. 

 

     “I love you and I’ll see you soon.” the forward said and left her wife with a deep, passionate kiss. 

 

Then Lauren came to her friend and Tobin wrapped her in a hug. “Stay with her Chen. Don’t leave her.” The curly haired woman nodded and went to Alex as they watched the midfielder get taken away. 

 

Hours later a nurse came into the waiting to Lauren holding the sleeping Alex. When she saw the nurse, Lauren nudged the forward awake and the nurse came over to them. “Ms. Heath has made it through the toughest part of the procedure. Dr. Rae removed most of the infected tissue in and around the stomach, trying to save any part he could. She still has nearly half of the organ, but there will be a lot of transitions she will be forced to make, but she’s alive. They are wrapping up now so you can see her in a little while.” They thanked the nurse as she left and were left to their thoughts. Alex let out a deep breath that she had been holding in.

 

     “Lauren, how are we going to get through this?” she asked, leaning into her friend. 

 

The midfielder pulled her in close before responding. “Alex, we both know Tobin is one of the strongest people in the world. She isn’t going to let anything keep her down, especially since you have a child on the way. I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen, but Jrue and I are here with you and we will all get through it together.”

 

The nurse took Alex back to Tobin’s room and her heart ached at what she saw. The sight of her pale wife laying in the hospital bed brought tears to her eyes and caused her legs to wobble. Luckily Lauren was right beside her and lead her to the chair next to Tobin. She immediately took the older girl’s hand, tracing circles over her knuckles, and waited for her eyes to open. When they did open, the pregnant woman was never happier to see those loving brown eyes she had fallen in love with staring back at her.

 

     “Hey baby how are you feeling?” Alex asked, brushing some of the hair out of Tobin’s face. Tobin told her she was tired and Alex motioned for their friend to go get the doctor. “Lauren is going to get the doctor and tell them you’re awake Tobs.”

 

Dr. Rae came in a few moments later, followed closely by Lauren, to explain what he had done in surgery. “Well the surgery was a success. What we did was try to remove as much of the cancerous tissue as we could. I had to do what is called a subtotal gastrectomy, which is when we remove part of the stomach and nearby lymph nodes. I was able to remove the cancerous part of your stomach and I believe we got the infected nodes. Sometimes though leaving some of the stomach in can make you more susceptible to the cancer regrowing if there is any other bad tissue in there. Do you have any questions for me?”

 

Before anyone could say anything Tobin spoke up, “Yeah, when can I go home?” Everyone chuckled at her eagerness to get out of the hospital. 

 

     “I think you need to be in here for another couple of days and then you can go. Next week we will start your chemo sessions up again and continue until the end of the round in a few weeks. We will reevaluate to see if you need more treatments.” Dr. Rae informed them. “Also before you go home, we need to make sure you know how to work the feeding tube we inserted in your abdomen. It will help keep your nutrition up as you get used to living with this condition.”

 

By the time the doctor was finished, all Tobin wanted to do was rest. She knew life was going to be different moving forward, but she just wanted to go home and live for her wife and unborn child. The hospital staff left the women for a while and Tobin scooted over so Alex could join her in the bed. The forward held the midfielder as she eventually fell asleep. 

 

The next few days seemed like a lifetime for the soccer players. Alex never left Tobin’s side as she recovered from her surgery, and Lauren was constantly in and out making sure they had what they needed. Three days after she had gotten out of surgery, Tobin was final cleared to go home. The nurses showed all the women what had to be done to work and maintain the feeding tube in Tobin’s abdomen, and anything else they need to know. Then Alex went to the nurse’s station to fill out the paperwork while Lauren stayed to help the other midfielder get ready. 

 

Tobin got to her feet shakily, and grabbed the clothes they brought her to change. She tried to do it herself, but she was too unsteady and weak to even get her gown off, but Lauren immediately came to her aid. She held the sick woman up and began to untie the gown. As she did, Tobin winced slightly, even the smallest touch seemed to hurt her fragile skin. Once she was out of the gown, Lauren couldn’t help but stare at her mangled body, and Tobin could feel the eyes on her. 

 

     “Is it really that bad?” she asked to lighten the mood. Lauren shrugged her shoulders. “C’mon help me to the bathroom so I can see for myself.”

 

Once she saw herself in the mirror, Tobin was lost for words. There was a gnarly incision from the bottom of her sports bra past her belly button. On her side was her feeding tube, and she still had a central port in her chest for the chemo treatments. She traced her fingers over the various foreign bodies in her skin, thinking about how awful she looked. 

 

     “Tobin, get over here so I can get these shoes on you.” she jumped as a shirt hit her in the lead, being thrown by Lauren. The older woman could see the sadness in her friends eyes. “You know it’s not that bad. The port will come out eventually and hopefully so will the feeding tube. And wounds heal and scars fade. Everything is going to be okay.”

 

Outside Alex finished the paperwork and headed back into the room, with Lauren tying Tobin’s shoe laces. The nurse followed her in with a wheelchair and then they were on their way to the car. The ride home was silent, as Lauren drove with Alex beside her and Tobin in the back seat. When they arrived Alex helped Tobin inside while Lauren got the bags. Once they had everything settled, Lauren said good bye and left Alex and Tobin. 

 

     “Lex, do you want to go for walk?” Tobin asked after a while of silence. 

 

     “Are you sure you’re up for it?” she responded. Tobin nodded. “Ok then yeah let’s go.”

 

They walked hand in hand into the warm sun. Both of the women were happy to have the sun in the faces and the warm air around them, after spending days in the hospital.  Eventually Tobin stopped and lead them to a bench, pulling Alex in close to her. The forward didn’t realize how much she missed being to close to her wide. She nestled in so that as much of her body was touching Tobin’s, and the midfielder reciprocated by kissing her head. 

 

     “How are you doing?” Tobin asked. Alex turned and gave a questioning look. “What, the past few weeks you have had so much to deal with because of me, and no one has stopped to check on you. You are the one carrying our child, so I’m asking you, how are you doing?”

 

Before responding Alex brought her lips to Tobin’s. It had been so long since they shared such a passionate embrace. Tobin put her had behind Alex’s head to keep the kiss, but soon they broke apart to catch their breath. “I’m ok Tobs. Just a little tired I guess.”

 

Tobin immediately stood and brought Alex up with her. “Let’s go home and go to bed.” Alex did not object and the quickly went home and retreated to their bedroom for the night. 

 

When Tobin finally woke the next morning, she rolled over to find the space beside her empty. She sat up and tried to ignore the pain in her midsection from the healing wound. Downstairs she found Alex at the counter with some juice, reading the news paper. She went up behind her, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her on the cheek. 

 

     “Well good morning to you too!” Alex smiled, getting up from her seat as Tobin sat down. “Can I get you anything to drink? How about some orange juice.”

 

She just shrugged her shoulders while Alex was quick to get her juice as well as an array of medications she had to take. After Tobin had successfully swallowed the pills Alex sat back down and took her hand. “Alright so we need to start your feeding tube especially since we went to bed so early last night so you didn’t get enough nutrition. Why don’t you go to the couch and I’ll bring in the formula.”

 

Tobin moped into the living room. She had no desire to do anything regard the tube in her stomach, she felt like a little child having to have formula pumped into her body. After she plopped down in the couch she closed her eyes for a moment. Before she knew it, a pair of lips met her own in a deep embrace. The midfielder brought her hands to Alex’s hips and pulled her closer as the moment got more heated. 

 

     “Don’t think this is getting you out this little missy!” Alex said as she pulled away from Tobin. The other woman just groaned and brought her hand to her face. Alex slowly began to pull Tobin’s shirt up, revealing the tube and part of the bandage covering the incision. She got everything set up, getting the tube attached to the one on Tobin and then hung the formula bottle on the iv pole the hospital hand given them. Then she grabbed a blanket and nestled in beside Tobin. 

 

     “Is it going to be like this every day?” Tobin asked quietly, breaking the silence. 

 

     “For a little while, yes.” Alex responded in sorrow for Tobin’s situation. “Just remember that it will keep you strong so you can fight this.” They stayed where they were, curled up together, until Alex quickly sat up and let out a yelp.

 

     “Alex what’s wrong?” Tobin said frantically. Alex didn’t respond, she just held her stomach. “Is there something wrong with the baby?”

 

     “Tobin, “ the forward spoke through gritted teeth. The older woman put her hand on Alex’s and then she moved toward her belly, placing it on the side, as a smile came to her face. “The baby is moving! Do you feel it?”

 

A huge grin came across Tobin’s face as she felt the movements of their unborn child. At that moment nothing in the world matter. It didn’t matter how bad things were or how sick she got, all she cared about was their baby. “He’s got kicks like his moms.” Tobin noted. 

 

     “He” Alex replied with a questioning look. “How do you know it’s a he?”

 

     “I just know.” Tobin answered lifting her chest in confidence. 

 

     “Well I think she has kicks.” Alex said, rubbing her stomach, putting an emphasis on she. Then she whispered “And you are going to be beautiful and loved by so many, and we cannot wait to see you.” 

 

Tobin pulled Alex into her and kissed her on the temple. They stayed that way for a while longer before Alex got up, detached Tobin from the machine, and cleaned things up. They spent the rest of the day hanging around the house, stopping to hook Tobin back up to the machine at the designated times. 

 

     “Lex,” Tobin said as they pulled the sheets back and got into bed. “Let’s have people over for dinner tomorrow. You know just have a normal night before we start up chemo again.”

 

     “I think that’s a wonderful idea!” Alex replied. “We can call people in the morning and then go to the store. Are you sure you’re okay with that, even though you can’t really eat?”

 

     “I just want to be with my friends and have a good time.” the midfielder answered. 

 

     “Sounds good.” Alex said giving a kiss. “Goodnight babe, I love you.”

 

Tobin wrapped her arms around her wife and told her how much she loved her. Soon her breaths evened out as sleep found her tired body and then Alex was quickly able to fall asleep to the steady beats of Tobin’s heart.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. Feedback is greatly appreciated.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New relationships are formed as Tobin finishes treatment, but they also get some interesting news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kind of took an unexpected direction so I really hope you like it.

For the life of her Alex could not find Tobin. Sometime while she got engrossed in shopping for their dinner party, Tobin much have gotten bored and wandered off. After several minutes off looking around, the forward rounded an aisle to find Tobin engrossed in a book, her glasses down on her nose. Alex couldn’t help the smile that came across her face. 

 

     “There you are.” Tobin looked up in surprise. “You already to go?”

 

When they got home, the two started getting ready for the night. Alex spent the day in the kitchen while Tobin cleaned the house. After she had her formula drip around lunch, Tobin decided to go outside to straighten up the gardens. She loved feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin and the breeze through her hair. It made all her troubles seem to go away. After a while of gardening the midfielder stopped and let her body rest in the soft grass. Eventually her mind got lost in the clouds and she drifted into a calming sleep. 

 

Lauren and Jrue arrived a while later to help Alex finish getting things ready. When they asked where Tobin was, Alex handed Jrue a blanket and asked him to go outside with her until everything was ready. Outside, he gently covered the sleeping woman with the blanket and sat beside her for a while. Eventually he started to notice the air getting colder and he didn’t want Tobin to get any sicker, so he tried to wake her up. After several unsuccessful attempts he decided to scoop her up in his arms and went to the house. 

 

Alex and Lauren were chopping vegetables when they heard the door open. When they saw the strong man carrying Tobin in and set her on the couch, their hearts melted. “It was starting to get cold out there and she is pretty sound asleep.”

 

     “Thank you Jrue.” Alex said gratefully. She walked over to her wife, lifted her head and sitting so her head could rest on her lap. She began to stroke the midfielder’s head and whispered in her ear. “Tobin, baby wake up.” She stirred and groggily opened her eyes. “Hey beautiful.”

 

     “Alex,” Tobin rubbed her eyes, lost for how she got there. “Did I fall asleep?”

 

     “You you took a little nap in the garden.” Alex said in a laugh. “Come on let’s get ready, it’s almost time for dinner.”

 

Later on, once everyone had arrived, they all sat down to dinner. Tobin was at the head of the table, hooked up to her feeding tube, with Alex and Lauren on either side of her. Jrue was beside Lauren, Abby and Sarah, Rachel and Bobby, and Allie filled in the rest of the seats. Before they ate, they all joined hands and Tobin lead them in prayer, thanking God for the opportunity for the all of them to come together and thanking him for giving her and Alex so many good friends with so much support. After that they all began eating, and Tobin watched and smiled at all her friends and enjoyed the conversation. Her hand found Alex’s and even if it was just for a little while, nothing mattered except the wonderful time they were having now. 

 

At the end if the night everyone said their goodbyes, wishing Tobin good with her start of chemo the next day. Lauren and Jrue were the last to leave making sure Alex and Tobin would let them know if they needed anything. When they were finally alone Tobin pulled Alex into a deep kiss. Alex was caught off guard by the boldness of Tobin, but happily allowed her wife to pull her into their bedroom. Tobin couldn’t sleep at all that night. She knew she needed her rest for tomorrow, but all she wanted was to hold Alex for as long as she could. 

 

     “Tobin wake up.” Alex called, Tobin rolled over and got out of bed. “Come on we have to leave soon.” She quickly threw on sweats and a t-shirt and went downstairs. Alex had her medicines and formula ready and hooked her up while she finished getting ready. 

 

At the hospital, Tobin was admitted to the oncology ward. When she was ready they began her first session of the next cycle, and Alex was by her side the whole time. She would be in and out of the hospital for the next week getting chemo, and it pained Alex to see Tobin hooked up to so many drugs that she knew would eventually bring pain to her. But it was just six more weeks, just six more weeks of the cycle and hopefully the cancer would be gone and stay away and they could put all of this behind them and focus on getting ready for their baby. 

 

Throughout the week Tobin put on a strong facade. She hadn’t felt the effects of the chemo yet, but she knew they would come so she was being strong for as long as she could for Alex. When the end of the week finally came, both women were glad they could just be in their home and relax. Tobin had no energy to do anything and she was starting to feel the effects. She had no energy and all she felt like do was sleeping or tho=rowing up, but she had nothing in her to throw up. Alex could see her struggling and just tried to do anything she could to help Tobin. 

 

     “Hey! How’s she doing?” Lauren asked as Alex opened the front door to let her in. It was the morning after Tobin’s last treatment for the week and she was still asleep so Alex motioned for them to go to the kitchen. 

 

     “She is asleep.” Alex replied. “Last night was rough so I’m letting her sleep as long as she can.” 

 

A while later Tobin came down the stairs. When she saw her wife and friend she couldn’t help but smile. Kissing Alex on the cheek as she passed her, she got herself some juice from the fridge before taking her medicines. Lauren stayed over the rest of the day and they had a girls day, just hanging around the house. It was a welcome recovery for Tobin after a long week. 

 

The next week, Alex and Tobin tried to be as normal as possible. The Thorns season was underway and even though they couldn’t play, they tried to be present to support their teammates and friends. Alex continued to work out off the field to stay in shape for after the baby came, and Tobin did her best to work out some to keep her health up. Often the midfielder would leave the weight room before Alex and wander to the field to watch the team. She longed to be back on the pitch, playing beside her wife and her best friend. Sometimes she would doze off, and usually Lauren would come and get her before the practice ended. Later in the week Alex had her monthly checkup with her doctor. Tobin was happy she had an off week so she could go along to see their child. They had decided not ring out if it was a boy or girl, but every opportunity they got to see him or her, was always welcome. 

 

As the next week of chemo neared, Tobin wanted to do something for Alex. The forward was taking a nap so Tobin decided to make her dinner and have a punic in the back yard. Since soup was the only thing she could eat, she chose to make her chicken noodle soup. When dinner was ready, she went to wake up Alex. “Lex, wake up”

 

Alex opened her eyes to find Tobin beside her, and she tried to pull Tobin into her, but the older woman refused. “Come on Tobs lay with me.”

 

     “Not if you want dinner.” Tobin said in a taunting tone. “I made something special.” 

 

They went out back and Alex was shocked to see a picnic set up on the deck. She sat down and Tobin brought two bowls of soup over to their places. After they ate, Tobin started a fire and they curled up in a blanket and watched the sun set. It had started getting chilly so they retreated to their bedroom for bed, but Alex had another idea. “Tobin let’s take a shower.”

 

Tobin was feeling good and nothing sounded better than being as close to Alex as she possibly could. They quickly undressed and got in shower. Alex couldn’t help but notice the marks on Tobin, the scar from her first surgery, the port in her chest, the feeding tube, and the long scar that spanned half of her midsection. She put the images aside and pulled the midfielder into her. It seemed like ages since they had been this close and they were both cherishing the moment. When they had finished, they fell asleep beside one another. 

 

After the night they just had, it was hard for Alex to call Lauren to take Tobin for treatment, but she was forced to because she was having a lot of nausea and vomiting. The curly haired midfielder picked up Tobin and checked on Alex. At the hospital, the women could tell that this week was going to be harder than the previous one. As the drugs added on the each other, Tobin began to feel the effects before they even left. Lauren barely made it into the driveway  before Tobin leapt out of the car and bolted into the bathroom, loosing her breakfast. 

 

Lauren stayed with them the rest of the day, going to the bathroom with Tobin throughout the day while Alex was bedridden with her own slight illness. By that night Tobin wasn’t so nauseous, now she just felt exhausted. Lauren had her on the couch, hooked up to her night feed while she went to tell Alex that she planned on staying with them until they were feeling better. Alex was grateful to have someone she could rely on to look after the other midfielder while she was out of it. The forward got better in the next day or so, but Lauren stayed to take the burden off her. They continued to look after the sick woman until the week cycle was over and then they were focus on getting her her strength back. 

 

During the treatment free week, Alex had to go to New York for a Nike shoot and meetings. Tobin knew she wouldn’t be able to go so she was reluctant to agree to the trip, but she finally did when Alex coordinated staying with Tobin’s family. Lauren happily offered to be with Tobin during the week, even though the Thorns had an away game she wanted to make sure Tobin wasn’t alone. 

 

The week was a welcome distraction for Tobin. She was starting to feel better from her tough week and getting to be with her friend made everything better. The women would hang around in the mornings and when Lauren had practice Tobin would go to work out and then be with the team. They were ecstatic when Tobin was cleared to to travel with the team, and they knew it would be hood for her to get away for a day or two. When they arrived in Chicago, they took their stuff to the hotel and went to practice. Tobin was able to get some touches on the ball before she tired out, and then they went back to the hotel. Lauren stayed with Tobin until the player curfew, then she went back to her own room. When she went to wake Tobin in the morning, she found the room empty. Downstairs, Tobin sat in a large chair with her bible in hand, deep in thought. She stayed there for hours until Lauren finally had to get her ready for the game. Before they left, Tobin stopped Lauren, 

“Everything is going to be okay Chen. I can feel it.”

 

Lauren smiled and hugged her friend. The Thorns won their game behind the play of Lauren, fueled by the cheers of their sick teammate. After the game, the team went and explored the city. While they were stopped along Navy Pier, Tobin felt a tug on her sweatshirt, “Excuse me ma’am, but you’re Tobin Heath aren’t you?” She turned to find a young child, and she smiled and nodded. “I um was wondering if I could have your autograph, you are one of my absolute favorite players in the world.”

 

     “Well thank you.” Tobin said, taking the marker from the girl while she took off her coat. The midfielder smiled at the sight of her US soccer v neck, but then her eyes went wide as she saw a familiar sight in the girl’s chest. She too had a port bulging out, with cords hanging down. “What do you have there?”

 

     “It’s my favorite shirt. I wear it to keep me strong during my treatments. Just like you!” The girl said with excitement. Tobin signed her name and tried to keep her composure. When she finished she moved her shirt to reveal her port and the child’s eyes lit up. “We match.”

 

     “What kind do you have.” her curiosity got the better of her. Tobin’s who demeanor changed when she heard the girl had brain cancer. “I’m sorry to hear that. Are you doing okay?”

 

     “My doctor says I’m doing good, but we have to wait until the end of this round to see.” she replied. “But my mom says that no matter what happens everything is going to be ok and God is going to look after me. What about you?”

 

     “Stomach cancer. I’m in treatment too.” Tobin said. Then the girl’s mom called for her. “What’s your name?”

 

     “Caitlin.” She answered.

 

     “Well Caitlin, it was amazing to meet you, and I want you to have something.” Tobin pulled her soccer hat off her head and gave it to the girl. A smile filled her face as she took off hers and replaced it with Tobin’s. “You are strong and I you’re going to get better."

 

     “Here, I’ll trade you. This way we will always remember each other.” She said giving Tobin hers. Then she threw herself into the midfielder’s arms for a hug. At this point, Tobin could not contain her tears. “I’m really sorry you have cancer also, but I know you will beat it too.”

 

They said goodbye and Caitlin left with her mother while Tobin went over to her watching teammates. She had the beanie in her hand and and when she looked up with fresh tears in her eyes, her teammates pulled her in for a big hug. After a while they returned to the hotel to get ready to leave. 

 

When they got back to Portland, Tobin practically ran to Alex when they got to the house. The rest of the night consisted of Tobin rambling about how good the trip was and how amazing it was to meet Caitlin. Alex was happy that Tobin got to have such a good time, and it was even better that they were going to hopefully their last chemo treatment the next day. 

 

They got checked in the next morning and she got hooked up to her machines for a few hours. The week would prove to be the worst yet for the midfielder as she would spend most of her time at home over the toilet or in bed, unable to move. The only thing that got her through the days was the thought of her new friend Caitlin doing the same thing. One of the days, Alex had her check up, so Lauren took her and Jrue took Tobin to the hospital. She was having a particularly hard morning and she was glad Alex didn’t have to see her like this. She came out of the bathroom and pulled herself into the hospital bed. Jrue pulled a blanket over her. 

 

     “I know it’s bad today, so I want you to look at something that will make you smile.” he said pulling out his phone and scrolling through. “Lauren told me you met a special someone last week and by the way you hold that hat I can tell it had an impact on you. Lauren took this and sent it to me so I just figured it could help you get through the rest of the day.”

 

Tobin took the phone, a smile coming to her face and tears to her eyes. Lauren had taken a few pictures of her and Caitlin when then met. “Thank you Jrue. I needed this.” she continued to look at the pictures, thinking about the girl. “You want to know what is so amazing about this girl? She is so young and she has freaking brain cancer and yet, she is so happy and content. I find myself looking up to her for strength.”

 

     “She sounds like a great little girl.” Jrue said, taking her hand. They stayed that way until Tobin was cleared to leave until the next day. At home, all that went through her mind was Caitlin and how brave she was. As her mind was racing, she decided to text Jrue about an idea. 

 

Alex was confused about why Jrue was taking Tobin to treatment again, but she let the thought leave her mind as she watched them leave for the last day of chemo. At the hospital, Tobin was hooked up to the machines, but she paid them no attention because she needed to work on something with Jrue. The pair talked about Tobin’s idea to start a foundation for children with cancer. Jrue was all for it and very excited that Tobin wanted him to partner with her to start it. They wanted to found it in honor of Caitlin and have other athletes get involved to sponsor sick children. They spent the entire morning working out details and ideas before Tobin was released. The nurses told her she would have an appointment with testing next week to see how the cancer responded to treatment and about the next steps. 

 

Over the weekend, Tobin and Jrue met with several people about getting on board with their ideas and Alex and Lauren were excited for their spouses’ adventure. They had several athletes who wanted to be involved, including lot of USWNT and NBA players and other athletes they knew from playing for so long. By the end of the weekend they had a plan to pitch and support from several parties, so they had to get it set up with a board, find Caitlin, and get going. 

 

The next day, they did find out where Caitlin was in Chicago and they got in contact with her mom. When she found out what Tobin and Jrue wanted to do she honored to have her daughter be the first child in the foundation and she was all for it. On the other hand she was nervous about it because Caitlin had taken a turn for the worst in the last few days and she was going to have to have another surgery on her brain. All the air left Tobin’s lungs and after a moment of silence she told the woman how sorry she was and that she would be in their prayers. The new knowledge of Caitlin’s condition just fueled them to get everything going. 

 

On the day of Tobin’s appointment they got to the hospital early for all of Tobin’s tests. She had to have blood work done and several scans before they would meet with Dr. Rae. By the afternoon, they were sitting in the doctor’s office, waiting for the news on the test results. When he came into the office, the grip on each other’s hands became even tighter. 

 

     “After looking at your blood work and scans,” Dr. Rae paused and took a deep breath. “it doesn’t look like the tumor has gotten any smaller.” All the air left the room as both women stared at him in shock. “Im sorry, I know this isn’t the news you were hoping to hear. I think from here we need to start an intense round of chemoradiation to try to kill the cancer. You should go home and talk about it and call us tomorrow and we can set things up. Again I am very sorry.”

 

Tobin was the first to snap out of her trance, “Um thank you Dr. Rae. We will call tomorrow.” She stood up and pulled Alex with along with her to the car. The drive home silent, both women still in shock.  _Gosh I can’t catch a break_  was all that wen through Tobin’s head as she drove. When they got home they just stood in the kitchen. After a while Alex said she was going to take a shower. Before Tobin went to check on her she sent  text to Lauren, “Bad news Chen. Can you come over?”

 

How could this be happening? She was supposed to be getting better. Thoughts raced through the forward’s mind as the hot water ran over her body. She wanted the water to mask her tears, but they fell as she broke down. Outside, Tobin could hear her wife sobbing and her heart was breaking at the thought of what she was putting her through. When Alex opened the door, they stared at each other for a moment before Alex threw herself into Tobin’s strong arms and broke down again. Tobin held Alex and tried to speak comforting words until the forward eventually fell asleep. As she laid there holding Alex, Lauren quietly came in with a look of worry on etched on her face. Tobin put Alex into the bed and went down with the other midfielder. 

 

     “Oh my gosh Tobs I’m so sorry.” Lauren said after hearing what the doctor had told them. “What are you going to do from here.”

 

     “They want me to start intense chemoradiation next week.” Tobin answered. “I will do chemo one day a week for four hours and radiation five times a week for nine weeks. It’s going to be rough, but Dr. Rae thinks that’s the best way to kill the cells and maybe shrink them enough to get the rest with surgery.”

 

     “You’re going to do it right?” Lauren asked

 

     “I’m going to do whatever I have to to be here as long as I can. I’m just nervous because Alex is going to be close to having the baby and I know it will be hard on her.” Tobin answered. She couldn’t bear to think about not being there for Alex or the baby.

 

Lauren pulled her into a hug, and Tobin wrapped her arms tightly around her friend. “We are hear for you, whatever you need. You are going to get through this.” Tobin was immensely thankful for her friend and their support. She was scared to death about what was coming for her to endure, but she would fight to beat this thing and she wasn’t about to let it take her from her family. She knew the weeks ahead were going to be rough, but with the support of her friends and family, God and her foundation, Tobin was determined to try. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review, your feedback is greatly appreciated!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cancer is taking its toll on everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know how I feel about the chapter. I'm trying to finish this before spring break is over, so chapter 9 is already started, so please let me know what think or if you have ideas.

Tobin lay on a hard table in a cold room, with nurses moving around her getting things set up. One nurse, Tobin saw her saw was Jackie, came to position Tobin on the table. She moved her arms so they were resting above her head and lifted her shirt so her stomach was exposed. When everything was ready, Jackie told Tobin she would be alone for a few minutes and to relax but stay where she was while the machines moved around her. When it was done, Jackie came and got her and took her back to her room, where Alex was waiting. 

 

Tobin got in her bed and the nurse hooked her up to the chemo. They had decided that the first day of the week would have both chemo and radiation so Tobin only had to worry about radiation the rest of the week. While they waited for the chemo drip to finish, Jackie returned with the doctor to make them aware of the side effects. They told them that it could take a week or so to see the effects, but to watch out for redness which was radiation burns and that she would start getting extremely tired. 

 

Before they went home they had to go Alex’s doctor’s appointment. Because she was now 30 week along, Alex was going to have to see her doctor every two weeks and Tobin knew it was going to get hard for her once she didn’t have the strength to go That’s one of the reasons she was grateful to have Lauren and Jrue to help. The appointment showed that the baby was healthy and both of the women were happy to have one good thing going for them. 

 

At home, Tobin asked Alex to sit down with her so they could talk. “Lex I really want to talk to you about this foundation we are trying to start.” Alex turned to listen to what Tobin was saying. “I know we kind of got a shock with this news, but I want to continue with the plan to do it if that’s okay with you. It will be hard once we really get going on radiation, but I think if we can get all the details worked out now then when I get really sick Jrue and the partners can take the lead. It’s just something I really want to be involved with.”

 

Alex took Tobin’s hand and kissed her. “I think if it’s something you are this passionate about, we need to go for it. I will be behind you the whole way and if there is something I can do to help the process then I will.” She knew how much Tobin wanted to make a difference for children who were going through what she was going through, so she wanted her to be able to do it. They spent the rest of the week going to the hospital in the mornings for radiation, and meeting with people and preparing things in the afternoon.

 

By the end of the week, they were ready to announce the start of the foundation. Tobin very excited to announce it, but was also sad that Caitlin couldn’t be there for it. She knew that once she was better, Caitlin could come and be one of the first kids the foundation adopted. A press conference was set up on Saturday and both Tobin and Jrue spoke about the foundation and what it would do, as well as there inspiration for starting it. After lots of questions, interviews, and pictures they left with a sense of accomplishment and a start of new hope for the future of cancer patients. 

 

During the next week of treatment, Tobin wasn’t so lucky with the side effects. After having chemo and radiation she woke up in the the middle of the night throwing up. Alex cleaned up the mess and stayed up with her the rest of the night. The week continued pretty much the same way, with Alex caring for Tobin who didn’t have much energy and felt sick most of the time. It was only the second week of treatment and already Alex was beginning to feel the toll of Tobin’s illness on herself. 

 

The weekend was spent recovering, for both women. They rarely left the confines of their bedroom and when Alex need something to eat Tobin would use the energy she to wait on her wife. The night before the next treatment Tobin went to take a shower and Alex waited on the bed for her, but she couldn’t last. When the midfielder got out of the bathroom she found Alex passed out with her phone on her chest. She smiled at the sight as she pulled off the forward’s shoes and tucked her into bed. 

 

The weekend ended all to soon for Alex, who felt exhausted when her alarm went off in the morning. She rolled out of bed to change her clothes and when she saw Tobin do the same, her eyes widened when she saw the effect of just two weeks of radiation. Tobin’s skin was losing its color and Alex could see the edges of her shoulder blades and ribs starting to show. This made her wonder how much worse it was going to get as the weeks progressed. 

 

Tobin didn’t even make it home before she felt the nausea that lead to vomiting. Alex and the nurses helped her get cleaned up before they went home. As the week continued, Tobin deteriorated even more and Alex was hanging by a thread. Lauren stopped by after practice to check up on them. “Hey Alex what’s up! Where’s Tobin?”

 

     “She’s upstairs sleeping, it’s been a hard few days.” Alex responded. “You played really well the other night.”

 

     “Thank you.” Lauren said, following Alex as she sat on the couch looking tired and clutching her belly. “Lex are you alright.”

 

     “Yeah I’m not feeling well and I’m tired.” She tried to shrug it off, but when she went to stand her vision blurred and she got very dizzy, falling back to the couch. 

 

Lauren wrapped her hands around her to steady her, “Woah I’ve got you. Alex when was the last time you slept or ate anything? You look exhausted.”

 

     “Don’t worry about it I’m fine.” Alex tried to get up, but Lauren made her stay down. 

 

     “No Alex you are not fine.” Lauren said in a stern voice. “You look terrible and I’m sure you have been running around like crazy trying take care of Tobin and not looking after yourself. You have to make sure you and the baby are ok.”

 

Alex let out a deep sigh. “I know, I know. It’s just been so hard.” 

 

     “Okay well I’m here now so let me help.” Lauren began. “I stay over tonight. You’re not doing anything, I’ll make dinner and do whatever we need to for Tobin. In the morning I can drive you to the doctor and Jrue is out of town so I’m sure one of the girls can take Tobin.”

 

     “Thanks Chen.” Alex said in a whisper as she looked down with an ashamed expression. Lauren lifted her head and gave her a hug. The rest of the evening was relaxed while Lauren cooked and helped Tobin with what she needed. 

 

Rachel took Tobin to treatment in the morning. When Jackie lifted her shirt for radiation, she grimaced seeing radiation burns starting to show up. The patches had just started to show up and they were beginning to cause Tobin discomfort. While she was getting ready to leave, the nurse brought in some cream and when she lifted up her shirt, Rachel too couldn’t help but gasp at the forming burns. 

 

At Alex’s appointment the doctor did her usual tests and Lauren made sure to tell her about what was going on with Alex at home. The doctor god Alex that some of her results were bit out of her liking so she really needed to focus on taking things easier to put less stress on the baby. If her results weren’t down by the next appointment she would be forced to go on bed rest. Alex was not pleased to hear this because how was she supposed to take care of Tobin now. Sure Lauren said she and Jrue could help and her teammates too, but there was so much that Tobin needed. 

 

When they got home from the doctor’s office, Lauren and Alex found Rachel in the kitchen reading a book. She told them about the burns Tobin was getting and that she was outside. Alex went out and found her laying on their patio furniture with her arms crossed and eyes closed. When Alex sat beside her, Tobin opened her eyes and smiled. When they went inside, they all talked about what the next step was and Lauren told them that she would come by once they woke up in the morning and they could decide how things were going to work. For the rest of the day Alex did simple things around the house and Tobin tried to help, but ended up laying around because she was tired. They sat down for dinner and Tobin attempted to sip some of the broth of the soup Alex had made because she sick just being on the feeding tube. After Alex cleaned up they went up to bed, Tobin barely able to even make it up the stairs. 

 

The soup proved to be a bad idea as Tobin was violently ill the entire night. She wanted Alex to get her rest so she left to go downstairs against Alex’s protests. In the morning Alex texted Lauren as she walked out of the bedroom. Downstairs she ended up finding Tobin sprawled out on the bathroom floor, obviously having fallen there out of exhaustion from being sick. She went to wake her up and Tobin’s eyes popped open when the forward nudged her. Alex tried to help her to the couch, but Tobin shrugged her off and hobbled to the kitchen. Alex followed her and watched her shakily pour herself some juice and when she pulled out her medicines she  watched for a few minutes struggle to get them open. When she offered a hand Tobin refused, “No I can do it.” She struggled for a minute longer and Alex moved towards her again telling her let her help.

 

     “No I don’t want help.” Tobin yelled, startling Alex. 

 

     “Tobin what is wrong?” Alex asked. She had no idea what was going on and why Tobin was all of a sudden so angry, but she could tell that something was indeed wrong. 

 

     “I’ve had it with this stupid cancer!.” she yelled again, causing Alex to jump a little. “I’m done with all of it.”

 

     “Tobin-“ Alex tried to calm her. She was getting kind of scared, but was relieved when she heard a car door shut outside. 

 

     “No don’t! I’m sick of it, all of it!” She screamed, tears coming to her eyes. “I hate it! I can’t eat anything without throwing it up and even when I don’t eat I feel sick. I can’t do anything another, not even open my freaking pill bottle.” She launched the bottles across the room and Alex saw Lauren quietly entering the room do Tobin wouldn’t see her. She knew Tobin wouldn’t hurt anyone but she wanted to be ready if she needed to be, then Tobin continued her rant, pulling off her shirt and lifting her arms to reveal her burns. “And this do you see this. The thing that supposed to be making better is tearing me apart. I used to look normal, but now I am nothing. Now I’m losing my hair, I’m losing everything.” She threw her shirt down, and Lauren made her move, wrapping her arms around the screaming midfielder who continued to fight. “I’m done with it, I just want things to be normal again. Why is this happening?”

 

Lauren finally got her contained and brought her down to her knees. “I’m sick and tired of it all. I’m so tired.” The curly haired women pulled Tobin into her and held her as she sobbed into her shirt. Alex knelt down with them and rubbed Tobin’s back until she calmed down. By then there was a large wet spot on Lauren’s shirt and  they could see she was beginning to give in to her exhaustion. Alex got a blanket and wrapped it around Tobin before they took her upstairs. 

 

     “Thank you for coming Lauren.” Alex said when they got back down to the kitchen. “I don’t know what happened and I didn’t know what to do.”

 

     “It’s okay.” she replied. “I’m sure she’s just tired and obviously having a hard time with all of this. I’m glad I was here to help.” They sat down and Lauren brought up something she and Jrue had been talking about. “Alex I think we need to do something about this. If it’s okay with you Jrue and I think maybe you guys should come to our place or we could stay here. Tobin is only getting weaker and with the baby you need your rest.”

 

Even though Alex didn’t want to admit it, she thought it would probably be best. “Yeah I was kind of thinking the same thing. At this point I think it’d be best for us to be here. I want Tobin to feel as at home as possible. Thank you Lauren.”

 

When Tobin woke up hours later she found herself without a shirt but sweating profusely. Her eyes hurt from crying and everything that happened that morning came flooding back to her. She tried to get up, but she was feeling worse than usual so she stayed there for a minute before grabbing another shirt and making her way downstairs. Tobin saw Alex sitting at the counter so she went up behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist and laying her head on her shoulder. When Alex felt familiar arms on her she was relieved Tobin was there. “I’m so sorry Lex.”

 

Alex stood and turned around, taking Tobin’s hands. “It’s okay Tobin.” Tears were coming to her eyes now. “Listen to me, no matter what happens I will always love you. If you lose all your hair and are too sick to move, you will still be the most beautiful woman in the world. Don’t let this take your fight away. I love you so much.”

 

They were together the rest of the day and night and things were good, but in the morning that changed. Tobin held off as long as she could before she had to roll over to wake up Alex. When she opened her eyes she could see something was wrong, Tobin was dripping sweat yet clutching the blankets around her and she looked paler too. “Lex I don’t feel well. Like worse than usual.”

 

Alex changed Tobin into dry clothes and got Lauren to carry the sick woman to the car. When they got to the hospital, a nurse took some blood from the port and tested her cell counts. The doctor came back and told them her counts were indeed low and she had a slight fever so they were going to do a blood transfusion and keep her for a few hours to observe. 

 

The next week of radiation saw continued deterioration for Tobin. Her hair continued to thin, she could barley keep even her formula feeds down and she was now on a constant drip of fluids, medications, and feeds to keep her as nourished and pain free as possible. Having Lauren and Jrue in the house with them proved to be a God send because as her pregnancy progressed, Alex couldn’t do as much, and she was eternally grateful for her friends. While things were bad, Tobin got something good out of that week. It was her last of treatment for the week and she was receiving another transfusion when Jrue walked in with a huge smile on his face. “Tobin I someone from the foundation here to see you.” Despite her discomfort, her eyes lit up at the sight of a certain little girl rounding the corner. 

 

     “Caitlin! Hey,” Tobin rasped out. Because the pain in her throat from radiation, talking was getting harder. “How are you doing? Your mom told me you had a hard couple of weeks.”

 

     “Yeah, but I’m better now.” Caitlin got closer to Tobin, but when she spoke again she spoke in a soft voice. “My doctor said my cancer is going away so I should be better soon.”

 

     “That’s great news!” Tobin said. “You know I wanted to talk to you about being part of something with me.” The two patients spent the next hour hanging out in Tobin’s room, talking and carrying on about whatever they could think of. When Tobin was done they met their families in the hall. 

 

     “Did Tobin tell you about the foundation?” Jrue asked Caitlin.

 

     “Yeah she did, and I am really excited to do it.” Caitlin said excitedly.

 

     “Well if it’s okay with everyone, we have it all set up in the conference room.” Jrue replied, leading the group to the room. He handed everyone a foundation t-shirt, then there were pictures and interviews for the press release and website. No matter how bad Tobin had felt, being with Caitlin was one of her best days in a long time. 

 

     “When do you guys fly back to Chicago?” Tobin asked before they left. She smiled hearing they left on Sunday. “You the Thorns have a game here tomorrow night. You think you’d be up to going with me?”

 

     “Ahh yes that would be amazing!” Caitlin squealed and gave Tobin a huge hug. They made plans for the following day and then parted ways. 

 

They picked up Caitlin and her mom a while before the game so they could show her around. At the stadium they her all over the stadium. In the locker room Caitlin had her own locker with a custom jersey, and when the players came in she got to meet all of them. Her mom was sure to pull Tobin aside and thank her, but Tobin told her that she was happy to do something that took Caitlin’s mind off the cancer. As the game began the group got settled in the team suite to watch the game. Tobin tried to put on a strong face for the pictures and couple of interviews then she nestled into the chair between Caitlin and Alex to watch their favorite game. 

 

After they said goodbye to Caitlin and her mom, Tobin quickly fell asleep before they made it home. Jrue carried her from the car to their bedroom and hooked her back up to all stuff then they all went to bed. As the fifth week of radiation progressed, Tobin was just a fraction of the person she had been and it scared her and the family, but they had to continue telling themselves that Tobin was a fighter. Now that the week was over they were more than half way done. Only four more weeks until Tobin got a break to regain her strength, and only that much time until they welcomed a new member of the Morgan-Heath family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. Feedback appreciated!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin is hanging on by a thread, but they are trying to find the good. A hospital visit could bring an end and a beginning to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so long, I didn't really know how to end it. I really, really hope you like it!

Alex sat in the living room enjoying the calm and quiet as she read her book. Lauren was at practice, Jrue was in the office working, and Tobin was upstairs, in the shower she assumed because she could hear the water running. Sure things had been tough as they were in the sixth week, but they were more than half done and it was moments like these, when she could feel their baby moving and the house was quiet, that made everything seem okay. When Lauren got home from practice, she and Alex left for the forward’s next appointment. Before the left, Alex made sure she asked Jrue to watch for Tobin to get out of the shower, and he said he take care of everything. 

  


Upstairs, slumped against the shower wall, Tobin sat with her arms wrapped around herself shivering. She prayed that someone would come to check on her because she was too weak to move and her throat burned so bad that her voice was reduced to a whisper. She managed to turn the water off, but now she shivered even more on the floor of the shower. 

  


After a while Jrue was getting nervous that he hadn’t heard the water turn off yet so her went up to check on Tobin. When he got to the door he heard the water go off, but there was no movement in the other room. “Tobin is everything alright?”

  


The midfielder breathed a sigh of relief, “Can you come help me?”

  


It pained Jrue to hear the faint whisper of Tobin and before the words finished coming out of her mouth Jrue was in the room. His heart sank at the sight of the outline of Tobin huddled in the corner violently shivering. “Oh God Tobin,” He rushed to the cabinet and got a fluffy towel then handed it into the shower for her to cover up. He realized Tobin was too weak to get out on her own and he wanted to keep Tobin’s dignity but he knew he’d have to carry her. 

  


     “I’m so cold Jrue.” Tobin whimpered. He grabbed another towel and put it around her legs then put one arm under her knees and the other under her arms. He gently lifted Tobin out of the shower, shocked at just how small she had gotten, then set her down on countertop and started rubbing her back in an effort to warm her  up. She could barely keep her eyes open or body upright as she fought her chills. “I’m tired. I just want to sleep.”

  


The man was now struggling to hold himself together. “I know Tobin, but I need you to stay awake for a little longer so we can you into warm clothes.” He carried the midfielder into the bedroom and laid her on the bed. Jrue turned around to allow the woman to struggle into underwear and a sports bra, but she asked for help with the rest. She used his shoulders for support as she stepped into the sweatpants then he had to put the shirt over her head and help get her arms through. Next he reattached the feed line and the pain meds to her central line. 

  


     “Can you stay with me?” Tobin asked. She felt childish asking but she just wanted to be feel the warmth of a body hold her and comfort her. He sat on the bed and pulled her into his arms. He had to put the feeling of her protruding bones out of his mind as he covered her with a blanket. She relaxed into him, laying her head in the crook of his neck. “I think it’s going to beat me, Jrue. Everything hurts and it won’t go away.”

  


The strong man shuddered at Tobin’s words and quickly wiped the tear in his eye before speaking. “Don’t talk like that Tobin, you are so close. There’s just a few weeks left then you will be holding your baby in your arms and then after that you will be back on the soccer field with Alex and Lauren and all your friends. And you’re gonna continue what you’ve started and life a long amazing life.”

  


She nodded unconvincingly and let a few tears fall. “Can you do something for me?” Jrue nodded wondering what she was going to say next. “Can you help me finish the nursery? I told Alex I would do it and now I can't.” He told her he’d love to and he held her until her whole body relaxed into him, falling asleep.

  


Alex and Lauren were a little worried when they came home to an empty house. They ran upstairs and both their hearts melted when they saw their spouses’ asleep on the bed. Lauren woke Jrue and he set the sleeping woman down and told them that she was in a lot pain. Unfortunately all they could do was give her another dose of pain medicine and hope she slept through the worst of it. 

  


Over the weekend Lauren took Alex out for a relaxing girls day and Tobin and Jrue were going to surprise them and finish the nursery. Tobin watched as Jrue put the final coats of paint on the walls. Once it was dry they started setting up the room. From the rocking chair in the corner, the midfielder indicated where each piece of furniture should go. When everything was in its place, both of them looked on with satisfaction. 

  


When Alex and Lauren were out to lunch, they got to talking and Alex brought up Tobin. She told Lauren that she was scared to death because she couldn’t live without her. She was afraid that Tobin was starting to lose her fight and Alex knew there was no way she would survive without the love of her life, not to mention having a baby by herself. All Lauren could do was take her friend’s hand and try to tell her it was going to be alright. 

  


The surprise went over wonderfully and seeing the finished room made Alex even more excited about having the baby in the next couple of weeks. Although it did reinforce that she couldn’t live without Tobin, Alex was only trying to focus on the positive. Later that night, after Tobin and Alex had talked it over, they asked Lauren and Jrue to be the godparents of the baby. They couldn’t thank them enough for everything they were doing for them and they were the best friends anyone could ever ask for. 

  


The next weekend, the Thorns played Sky Blue FC and after the game they had a get together to celebrate before the baby came. Some of the players from each team, mostly the USWNT players, came over to the house. They wanted it to be something fun to take their minds off the situation. For Tobin, getting to see some of her friends that she hadn’t seen in months was great. She got to catch up with Kelley about life and fun, and for Alex seeing the midfielder smile again was a beautiful picture. Christie made sure she found Alex to see how she was holding up. Christie helped her with her pregnancy questions and when things got a little more serious she offered her support. When Alex looked around at all the smiles and laughter in the house, it was a moment she always wanted to remember. It was one of the rare moments in recent times that Tobin had that smile on her face, and everything seemed good. 

  


Treatment continued into the next week and all they could focus on was that it was almost done, and Alex looked like she was about to burst. In a few weeks Tobin’s treatment would be done and they would have a baby. Tobin was focusing on putting ll her pain aside to see the good in her life. One night they decided to take a short walk to the beach to be in one of their favorite places. The two slowly walked through the sand, enjoying the familiar roughness on their toes. They stopped on a bench and watched the sunset, and it was like there was nothing wrong. “This is nice Alex.”

  


     “Yeah it is.” Alex agreed. “I feel like we haven’t been able to do something like this in forever. Something normal.”

  


     “When all of this is over, I promise things will be normal again.” Tobin promised. “We are going to be a family again, with the addition of this little guy.”

  


The shared a kiss and linked hands. “I can’t wait to be truly with you again, Tobin.” They stayed on the beach for a while longer and then decided to go home because Tobin was starting to fall asleep. They went to bed that night with a renewed closeness between them, as they held each other on their arms. 

  


After radiation the next day, Jackie was sure to tell Tobin that she was looking better today. When they went back to her room, Alex had to take a phone call so Tobin decided to go for a walk. The first place she went was the chapel, a place where she knew she could put it all to Him and ask for help. She had relied on her faith to help her through all of this, but now as things were bad and they were so close she just wanted to sit on peace. A while later, she left the chapel, but instead of returning to the room, the midfielder continued on. She ended up at the nursery, looking through the window at the sleeping newborns. She couldn’t help the smile that came to her face at the thought of her child being there soon. Tobin felt her wife’s hand meet hers and they both looked on in bliss. “You know we never talked about a name.”

  


Tobin lifted their hands and kissed Alex’s, “Well let’s talk now. What do you think for a boy?” They turned to walk down the hallway, and Tobin was all of a sudden hit with nausea and shooting pain through her abdomen and she feel to her knees.”

  


     “Oh my gosh, Tobin!” Alex frantically. “Help, we need help over here.” Within seconds nurses swept in trying to figure out what was going on. They got her on a gurney asking her question about how she was feeling. They immediately took her to scan her abdomen, leaving Alex by herself. She called Lauren in a frenzy and the midfielder said she was on her way.

  


Minutes later Lauren came rushing through the doors to Alex’s side. Jackie and the doctor came out a few minutes later with news on her condition. “We found that one of the masses grew around her appendix and now it has burst. We need to go in for emergency surgery to remove the organ and we are going to try to remove the mass and anything else we can get out.”

  


     “Will she be okay after the surgery? Are you going to get the cancer out?” Alex asked. 

  


     “I and going to do my best to get it all and we are going to do a heavy dose of internal radiation to try and kill any other cancer cells in her body. I can’t guarantee anything, but at this point it seems to be the best option for Tobin to survive this cancer.”

  


     “I want her to have every chance possible so if you think this is what she needs then let’s do it.” Alex answered. “Can I see her before you go in.”

  


     “We have to prep her immediately, but you can have a few minutes.” the doctor replied. 

  


Alex went into the room and held back tears seeing Tobin in the hospital bed. She went to her and cupped her face in her hands and kissed her. “Tobin promise me you are going to come out of this surgery.”

  


     “Alex I have something I have to tell you something.” Tobin rasped out. “Remind me to tell you when I get out okay?”

  


     “Yeah I will.” Alex chuckled. “I love you and I’ll see you soon.” Then they rolled Tobin away. 

  


Alex and Lauren sat in the waiting room and Jrue joined them. They sat in silence praying that news would come soon that Tobin had made it through and was in recovery. Jackie came out an hour later and told them that they successfully removed the appendix as well as the mass around it and all the rest they saw. They also delivered a high dose of radiation to Tobin’s abdomen to kill any cells left in her body. She told them Tobin was being moved to recovery and they could see her soon. They all let out a huge sigh of relief. “We won’t know if the cancer cells are dead for a few days when we do another scan. We are hoping that taking such extreme measures will ensure that we got all of and Tobin will be on her way to recovery, but only time will tell. Ms Morgan, unfortunately because you are pregnant and with the radiation Tobin is on, you shouldn’t be around her for a day or so. I know that is hard to hear, so we can get you in a radiation vest and you can have a minute with her, but for the safety of you and the baby it can only be a minute."

  


Alex was not happy to hear that she couldn’t be with Tobin, but she would take what she could get so she rushed back to the room. Once she was ready she went in to Tobin and kissed her. “Thank you for coming through. Listen Tobin, I can only be in here for a minute because of the radiation so it will be a day or two before I can be with you again. You have to promise me you will fight and not give up.”

  


     “Alex what I was going to tell you earlier, I swear to you I am not going to give up. I love too much.” Tobin tried to sound as strong as she could. She took Alex’s hands and looked deep into her eyes. “I want to wake up beside you in the morning. I want to look into you eyes everyday and kiss you with as much love and passion as the our first time. You are the last one I want to see when I fall asleep at night.”

  


Alex rested her head on Tobin’s chest and let tears fall. “I love you so much Tobin.”

  


     “Lex, give me a kiss.” Tobin said lifting her head, and Alex quickly obliged. “Now get out of here before they have to drag out out of here. I will see you soon.”

  


Once she was out of the room the forward broke down in her friend’s arms. She made them promise that they would never leave Tobin alone until she could go back in. Jrue took the first shift with Tobin so Lauren could be with Alex for a while. She took the pregnant woman to the bathroom to get cleaned up and then they got something for her to eat. By the time that was all done Alex was exhausted from the days events. Lauren told her she had to take her home to get some rest and after some convincing Alex finally agreed.

  


At the house Lauren made dinner while Alex called Tobin's family to update them on the situation. Upon hearing that she was getting bad and Alex was due at any moment they said they were on the next plane out. Then Alex called their USWNT and Thorns teammates as well as the staff to let them know, and she lots of encouraging words and prayers. By the time she laid down for bed, she was so tired she was practically sleep before her head hit the pillow. 

  


The sun shining through the blinds woke the forward and as she rolled over to where her wife should have been she shot out of bed. She scolded herself for sleep so late and she got out of bed and changed. When she got downstairs she found Jrue at the kitchen table with his bible. “Morning Jrue.”

  


     “Good morning Alex. did you sleep well?” she nodded. “Can I make you something to eat?”

  


     “No I’ve already slept too long.” Alex began. “I just want to get over the hospital to be with Tobin.”

  


     “Alex you don’t need to be over there just yet. Lauren is with now.” Jrue replied. “She called a little while ago and said that Tobin is still sleeping anyways. How about you sit down and I’ll make some breakfast.”

  


At the hospital Tobin woke up finding Lauren reading a book in the chair beside her. She tried to speak, but instead found herself in a coughing fit. Lauren grabbed the water and had Tobin slowly sip until she caught her breath. “Thanks Chen. Where’s Alex.”

  


     “I took her home last night to get some rest, she wasn’t happy about it either.” they both chuckled. “Jrue is with her now and I told to make sure she took her time and ate something before she came rushing over here.”

  


     “Thank you for looking after her.” Tobin said, getting serious. “Thank you for everything you have done for us.”

  


     “You are my best friend and this is what friends do for each other.” Lauren replied. After Tobin finished her water, a few nurses came in to check her vitals. Lauren was sure to tell them about the cough Tobin woke up with. After checking it out they found that because her immune system was so weak she had contracted a slight infection on her lungs and that’s why she was coughing. They put her on more medicines for the infection and they said they would keep an eye on it. 

  


When Alex and Jrue got to the hospital, Tobin was asleep again because of the medicine. Lauren told them about the cough and the diagnosis. When she did wake up, Tobin was taken right away to get a followup scan to check the masses on her abdomen. When Dr. Rae came back with the results they were relieved to hear that there was some good news for once. He told them that there wasn’t any new growth which was good, but Tobin definitely wasn’t out of the woods yet. He said they had to really watch the infection and monitor her condition, hoping noting new cropped up. While it wasn’t all good, at least hey had something positive to hold on to. 

  


Lauren went back in to be with Tobin and before she could say anything Tobin asked to use her phone. Tobin called Alex and told her it was getting late so she really needed to go home. Alex argued that she was, but Tobin insisted that she needed to be at home resting. When they were finally alone, Tobin got the opportunity to get something off her chest. She wanted to make sure that no matter what happened she would always have her family taken care of if things didn’t turn out well. “Lauren I need you you to make me a promise. I need you and Jrue to be there for Alex and the baby when I’m gone.”

  


     “Tobin Heath look at me right now.” she demanded, taking Tobin’s withered hand. “You cannot give up now when you are so close. You have gone through too much and you have too much to live for to throw in the towel now.”

  


     “Everything hurts Chen.” Lauren said with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.”

  


The curly haired midfielder stood and got in the bed beside Tobin and pulled her into her. They stayed like for what seemed like hours, speaking every once in a while, but mostly just sitting in comfortable silence. They were both startled when Lauren’s phone rang. It was Jrue telling her that they were on they way to the hospital because Alex was in labor. “You hear that Tobs, you’re going to be a mom. You need to hold on a little bit longer.”

  


     “Can you give me a piece of paper? I need to write a letter.” Lauren got Tobin a pen and paper. “If anything happens give this to Alex. Promise you won’t leave her. I know I can’t be there with her so will you?”

  


Lauren promised and left to be with Alex while Jrue came in to be with Tobin. He told her that she was still in the early stages of labor so it would be a while. After lots of arguing and convincing Alex was wheeled into Tobin’s room. She had to see Tobin before she was too far along and she had to make sure she got talk to her. “Tobin it’s happening, the baby is coming.”

  


Tobin fought the effects of the drugs with all her might. “I know, how are you doing?”

  


     “I’m fine, I’m fine.” Alex insisted. She then took the midfielder’s hands. “Tobin you have to fight. You are so strong and I can’t live without you. We can’t live without you.” She placed her hands on her stomach then cringed as she was having another contraction. 

  


     “It’s okay breathe.” Tobin soothed. “I love you Alex. You need to go to your room so you can have our baby.”

  


They shared a deep, passionate kiss before Lauren took Alex back to her room, both hoping that the hours would pass quickly. Hours later, it was finally time for Alex to start pushing. She crushed Lauren’s hand as she screamed out in pain. All she wanted was the comfort of Tobin beside her, but she had to focus on having the baby. Meanwhile Tobin was slowly fading. She held Jrue’s hand for dear life, praying it wasn’t her time to go. She had to see Alex and their baby. 

  


With one final push and scream, the baby was born, a baby boy. Tears flowed from the women’s eyes as he was placed in his mother’s arms. “He is so beautiful.” she kissed him and held his small fingers. He had Alex’s piercing blue eyes, but was otherwise the spitting image of Tobin, smooth tan complexion, silky brown hair, and chill temper as he was already relaxing into Alex. “We need to go to Tobin.”

  


After getting both Alex and the baby ready, they wheeled them to Tobin. The sick woman was fading in an out of consciousness and having trouble breathing due to the infection. The feeling of familiar hands on her brought her back to reality. “Tobin wake up so you can hold our son.”

  


“Hey little guy.” Tobin smiled as he was set in her arms. He immediately nestled into her chest and it brought to everyone in the room to tears. She could feel herself slipping as her breath quickened. “Lex-“

  


     “Tobin no!” Alex called out for king Tobin to look at her. “We have to name him.”

  


     “How about Patrick.” she coughed out. 

  


     “Powell. Patrick Powell Morgan-Heath.” Alex sobbed out, laying her head beside their son’s on Tobin’s chest. “Tobin please,”

  


     “Alex, “She pulled her in for a kiss and then kissed Patrick. “I love forever and always.” They both cried, and Jrue held Lauren as they broke down too.

  


Just like that their moment ended with the sound of beeping machines. Tobin’s eyes closed and body went limp. Nurses and doctor swarmed in pulling Alex back, Lauren quickly grabbed Patrick and held him close. Orders were yelled throughout the room to get Tobin stable, but nothing was working. Jrue held Alex back while she yelled for Tobin. 

  


They cut off Tobin’s gown exposing her sickly frame. “Charge paddle’s too 300.” Everyone stood back. “Clear!”

  


Tobin’s back arched off the table and the monitor continued to flatline. “Charge again and clear!” 

  


     “Tobin no don’t leave me!” Alex screamed through her tears. Jrue pulled her out of the room followed by Lauren holding the screaming baby. 

  


     “One more time. Charge, Clear!” again she arched off the bed. That was the last thing the forward heard before the door closed as her world was coming crashing down. 

  


     “Don’t leave me Tobin!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think of the chapter!!
> 
> Does she live or die?!?
> 
> There will be another chapter to reveal some things


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while. I decided to do this quick chapter instead of a really long chapter. There will one more chapter after this to finish it up.
> 
> Hope you like it!!

_That day, oh that awful day._  
   
The memories of that day had constantly invaded Alex’s thoughts and dreams. Whenever she looked at their son, all she saw was the midfielder’s contagious smile and relaxed personality. Patrick was their gift from God, the spitting image of his mother, a ray hope in a time of darkness. Lauren and Jrue were her saving grace. They were so helpful with everything going on and Patrick had taken to them like another set of parents, and Alex was forever grateful. Things were starting to get easier, but there were those bad days when they couldn’t escape the thoughts.   
  
Soccer was her way to get out, her chance to clear her mind. A few months after having the baby, Alex returned to the field, earlier than many people thought necessary but her teammates stood beside her and got her through. Even though they were done with the NWSL season she went back to a busy national team schedule, and her teammates in Portland were more than willing to play with her whenever they were all at home. Many of her teammates would come by and played with Patrick and offered whatever help they could give. She appreciated her help, but there was always something or someone missing on the field and Alex hoped that would go away soon. Their new season was upon them and she also had to focus on national team play, while at the same time keeping her focus at home too.   
  
When everything was at its worst and nothing in her life seemed good, Alex could look at Patrick and nothing in the world would matter. The thought of their family was all that went through her mind, and trying to make a good like for their son. But on this day the only thing that went through Alex’s head was _that day_. 

* * *

 

Flashback  
  
The images of Tobin’s frail body arching up on the table and then how it lay lifeless with cords and tubes coming off of her. Alex screamed for her wife to come back to her. Alex knew she couldn’t live without Tobin and she just needed to be with her now. She had struggled away form Jrue and ran back into the room where the doctors continued to yell out orders. The forward cried out for Tobin to open her eyes, but all they could do was pray for a miracle and try again. 

* * *

  
  
It had been months since that day, but it was still just as fresh in her mind. She had a hard time getting those horrible images out of her head. Today Alex was finally going to do it. She sat alone on the back deck, Patrick asleep in his crib, with an envelope in her hand. An envelope she found sitting on her desk when she got home from the hospital. The envelope had Tobin’s handwriting and she was supposed to open it whenever she felt ready. Lauren told her about how Tobin wrote a letter, but Lauren said she never intended on giving to Alex. The forward had put it off long enough and she was finally going to open it. She took a deep breath and opened the letter.   
  
 _My Dearest Alex,_  
  
 _If you are reading this letter then the worst has happened. I am so sorry to have left you like this. Please know that I love you so much. I have loved since the moment I laid eyes on you. I remember meeting you and going weak at the knees looking into your eyes._  
 _As I sit here in this hospital bed, I try to think back to all of our time together. We have have so many good times together, Lex. We have travelled the world, won medals and awards, and met so many people, but by far the happiest moment of my entire life was watching you walk down the aisle so I could marry you. You want to know the second happiest moment of my life? When you told me that I was going to be a mother and we were going to have a family. I am just sorry that I couldn’t be here to help you raise them and see them grow up._  
 _I know our time together has been cut short, but there is so much much life left for you to live. Don’t let this or anything else hold you back. You still have so much to accomplish, people to inspire, and paths to pave._  
 _These last few months have been difficult on you. I want to thank you for being by my side through it all. You were my rock and my motivation to push through it all. You kept me grounded and gave me so much to live for. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to make it._  
 _Tell all our friends I said goodbye and I love them. Make sure you give Lauren and Jrue all my love and tell them how much I appreciate all they have done for us. They will always be there for you and will help you in any way they can, so don’t be afraid to let help in._  
 _Words cannot describe how much I love you and our child. Our love is never ending and will last a lifetime. Alex, please don’t let this love turn you away from loving again. I want you to be happy and have love in your life._  
 _Share our love with the baby. Please let “him” know how much I love “him.” I know you think it’s going to be girl, but I can’t help but feel like we will have a son. Maybe Kelley can teach him to surf and longboard because we all know you can’t! You are going to be an amazing mother and I’m sorry I won’t be there. Know I will always be watching over you two and I can’t wait to see you raise him. Give him a kiss for me too._  
 _You, Alex Morgan, are my one and only. You are the woman I fell in love with second I saw you. Our love will never fade._  
 _I don’t want you to mourn a loss, but instead celebrate a life and the time we shared together._  
 _I will kiss you every night before you fall sleep and I will always be here whenever you need me._  
 _This is not the end of our lives together, it is the beginning of your life with our child. Live it to it’d fullest and I will always be here with you._  
  
      _All My Love,_  
 _Forever and Always,_  
  
 _Tobin_  
  
As she finished the letter, Alex let it fall to the deck and allowed her tears to fall. She cradled her head in her hands and sobbed, not hearing the sliding door open. She felt a strong hand on her shoulder and she quickly wiped her eyes. They sat down beside her and picked up the fallen piece of paper. “I see you read the letter.”  
  
Alex threw herself into waiting arms and sobbed until she had no tears left. She let herself relax and wrapped her own arms around the body holding her. Her fingers stopped on the familiar raised area on her chest, then she finally spoke. “I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you.” She looked up and met the hazel eyes she had fallen in love with, fresh tears coming. 

* * *

  
Flashback  
  
After Alex ran back into the room she begged them to try on more time. After her body arched off the table for the last time, they waited and prayed. Seconds later there was a beep of a heartbeat, and they rushed to get her stable. When they finally let Alex be with her, the forward stayed with Tobin until she finally opened her eyes. Hours later, Alex felt movement in her hands and looked to see her awake. “Alex-“  
  
     “There you are. Welcome back.” Alex said. Tobin tried to speak, but struggled. “Shh, don’t try to talk yet baby. You’re really weak right now so you need to save your energy.”  
  
     “What, what happened.” Tobin rasped out, confused, “Where’s pat-“  
  
Alex brought her hand to Tobin’s face to comfort her. “You crashed Tobin. I thought I’d lost you. They said it was a miracle you made it through. We wouldn’t have been able to live without you.” Tobin looked at her with a questioning look. “We have a son, Patrick Powell Morgan-Heath. Lauren and Jrue haven’t left his side. I love you so much Tobin."

* * *

  
     “I’m right here Lex.” the midfielder spoke, wiping the tears from Alex’s eyes and then her own, and then pulling her close again. “I love you so much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is...The Final Chapter!!
> 
> Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not entirely sure how I feel about it, but here goes nothing. Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. I really hope you like this. 
> 
> ps: I need new ideas for other stories now that this is done

They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms for a while longer. The warmth of the Portland sun felt good on their skin. Alex again traced her finders on the raised area of Tobin’s chest, where the central line had left a scar. “Does it still hurt?"

 

     “Sometimes it pulls in the wrong way. My stomach ones hurt more.” Tobin sighed, moving her hand to her abdomen. “But it doesn’t matter how much they bother me, I’m not going to let it stop me. You and Patrick are the ones that pulled me through that day and you give me something to live for every day.”

 

     “Tobs do you remember anything?” Alex asked shyly. 

 

     “Bits and pieces.” Tobin began. “I remember feeling myself going. I was so tired and it was getting difficult to fight. I was so scared. I couldn’t leave you and the baby but at the same time I just wanted all the pain to end. I remember asking Cheney to give you the letter and made her promise to be there for you, be-because I knew I wasn’t going to make long enough to be there with you.”

 

Tears spilled down the older woman’s face. Alex was quick to wipe them, “It’s ok baby, everything is ok.”

 

     “I vaguely remember you waking me up. I know I was holding on by a thread.” she recalled. “All I know is that I was so cold, but when you put our son on my chest I was filled with so much warmth and all my pain went away. I could feel his little heart beating with my own. But then everything went dark. I was stuck in the darkness and all I could think about was getting back to you and Patrick. I was so relieved when I opened my eyes and there you were and somehow I was still here.”

 

Alex pulled Tobin back into a hug and held her. She was thankful that they finally talked about what happened. Since their time at the hospital time hadn’t really allowed for just the two of them to sit down and talk. Tobin was in the hospital for almost a week after and in that time, the masses shrunk even more, enough for all of them to be removed in a final surgery. When they returned home, Tobin still didn’t have the energy or strength to do much besides hold Patrick until they would both fall asleep. The midfielder loved being so close to their son and just watching him brought her so much joy. Seeing Tobin with Patrick melted the hearts of the other three adults, and they knew things would only get better. 

 

Slowly Tobin’s strength returned and a few weeks after the surgery it was announced that she was in remission. Soon after, the midfielder was able to have the feeding tube and central line removed. Because of how much her body had deteriorated, Tobin had to go through extensive physical therapy to get back to her old self. Dr. Rae also suggested she see a therapist to come to terms with what happened over the months she was sick. The combination of both therapies seemed to be what brought the hard days. 

 

Tobin would come home utterly exhausted from her therapies and then shut down. Even with Lauren and Jrue still living with them to help, she couldn’t escape all the stresses of a new baby at home, recovering from cancer, and trying to get back in shape. Alex tried to tell her not to put so much pressure on herself, that all of it would come in time. Sometimes Tobin would snap back at her and they would get into an argument about how much Tobin could handle, and she would say that she isn’t a patient anymore and that if she wanted to play soccer again she had to push herself. Alex was frustrated because no one was pushing her to get back quickly, heck Tobin had almost died just weeks before. The forward was only concerned with Tobin’s health and making sure she be able to spend the rest of their lives together. 

 

Now that Alex read the letter and they really talked about what happened, they seemed to have an understanding. Tobin still pushed herself too much for Alex’s liking, but she was able to try and support her and help her through the hard times rather that ridicule her choices. There were still hard days, but they were easier to get through and they got through them together. Eventually things were normal enough for Lauren and Jrue to move back their house, but they were still with their friends as often as possible especially now that the season was starting back up. 

 

As Jrue, Tobin, and Patrick would sit in stands watching their wives in the early games, Tobin longed to return to the pitch. She worked tirelessly with the Thorns and on her own. She could tell she was almost ready to play again, and she was soon back on the practice field with the Thorns. Being so close to playing again brought so much excitement to Tobin as well as Alex. She looked forward to having her favorite midfielder back on the pitch. 

 

While she had yet to play in a game with the Thorns, Tobin received a phone call from Tom before their midseason camp asking her to join the team as they came to Portland for a friendly. Tobin was ecstatic that she was getting the opportunity to return to the team she never thought she’d get to play for again. Days later the midfielder reunited with all her friends on the field and was met with warm embraces from all of them. She was so happy to be back with the women she had basically grown up with and who had supported her through so much. 

 

On the surface she was almost her normal self, only bits and pieces seeming different. They all caught up on their seasons and what they had all been up to since they were all together last, but they all kind of danced around the subject of Tobin’s illness. She could feel their eyes on her when she was on the field and how they all seemed to hold their breaths when she went into a challenge. Even in the locker room, Tobin felt like she was under a microscope as she was met with stares when she removed her practice jersey. “Everyone is staring Chen.”

 

     “No they aren’t Toby! Everyone is just happy to see you.” the midfielder replied. She looked around the room and took notice of the many eyes gazing on the scars of her best friend. “Okay maybe a little, but I mean the haven’t seen you in months and they were worried about you. I’m sure it will all be better tomorrow.” 

 

Back at the hotel, the team ate dinner and had a quiet night just hanging out. Tobin crashed about the same time as Patrick and once she had gone to bed, Lauren made sure to tell the team that they needed to stop the awkwardness and be normal around her again. She wasn’t a patient anymore and sure some things were different, but it was still their Tobin and she was going to play her heart out. 

 

Practice the next day was much lighter. They did some light stuff and walk throughs, and everyone was in a happy mood. They ended the session with soccer tennis and Tobin and Lauren were crowned champions. Back at the hotel the team bonded with a movie night and turned in early for the game the next day. Alex and Patrick said good night and went back to their room while Tobin retreated to her own room. She fell asleep with the thoughts of the next day’s game running through her mind, hoping she would get to see some time on the pitch. 

 

After breakfast, before Tobin went to get ready, Tom and Dawn called the midfielder to the meeting room. “Tobin having you back has been great and we have really missed having you out there on the field. Based on the last couple of days of practice, we are happy with how you are playing considering the ordeal you went through. Dawn has been in contact with your doctor and therapist and they have said that everything we are doing is good and you should have no more limitations. We just wanted to give you a heads up that you will be starting today and we have every intention of giving you a full ninety or for as long as you think you can make it.”

 

A huge smile came across the woman’s face at the news. She was thrilled to be able to play, not to mention start, and get back on the field with her friends. “Thank you so much! It means a lot.” 

 

     “We will be watching your monitors on intervals and we have to make sure we keep your nutrition up throughout the game.” Dawn interjected. “We want you on the field on one condition, you have to promise us that if at any moment you don’t feel one hundred percent you will let us know and we can replace you.”

 

Tobin happily agreed and left to find Alex and tell her the good news. The forward wrapped her arms around Tobin when she heard she was finally going to get to play with her wife again. They got Patrick ready and took him to Jrue, then boarded the bus. The bus ride was quiet as they awaited the game ahead. 

 

As Tobin felt the fabric of the jersey on her skin and heard her name announced over the intercom, she was humbled by the moment. She had waited nearly a year to beat her disease and get back to the sport she loved. When the kickoff whistle blew, all the jitters and nerves left her body and she let her natural instincts take over. 

 

Alex was excited to have Tobin back on the field, but was also nervous as she found herself constantly watching to make sure she was okay. At halftime the game was tied at zero, and Tobin found herself being hammered with questions about how she was feeling. She felt fine, but she wasn’t all that happy with how she was playing. She ate and drank the things Dawn had given here and focused on making it through the next forty five minutes and make a difference. 

 

Back on the field, the team began to dominate behind the aggressive play of their midfielder. She was up and down the field and soon enough found space to send a floating ball in that found Abby’s waiting head. The crowd erupted in cheers as Tobin was mobbed by her teammates. 

 

Shortly after, they faced a scare when Tobin took a hard hit on a challenge and crumpled to the ground. The players and training staff immediately swarmed the midfielder. After getting her breathing under control, Tobin started to calm down and realized she was fine. “I’m okay guys, I’m fine.” She told them it had scared her more than anything. When she went off the field she did all she could to convince Tom and Dawn that she was fine. 

 

She ran back onto the field to cheers, and eyes from Alex. Tobin nodded at her and went right back to her game. She owned the remainder of the match and in the waning her skills shined again. The crafty mid megged her defender and sent a rocket across the middle, where Alex had her mark beat and finished into the back of the net. They ran to each other, Tobin leaping into Alex’s arms, followed by the team joining them in a pile. The game continued for only a few seconds before the final whistle blew and the crowd again erupted in cheers. 

 

After the game, Tobin shared lots of hugs and laughs with many of her teammates. As they did their cool down and signed autographs with the fans, she didn’t want the moment to end. She turned to find Lauren taking Patrick from Jrue’s arms and bouncing him on her hip. She couldn’t help but smile at the wonderful family they had become. When she went over to them, they hugged and spoke for a moment before Tobin took Patrick. “Hey little man! Did you have fun with uncle Jrue?”

 

     “Yeah he was great.” Jrue laughed, then he cleared his throat to say something else. “Tobin there is someone here who wants to see you.”

 

Tobin looked at the couple in confusion. Jrue motioned for the person to come over and when he stepped aside and revealed a familiar little girl, dressed in Tobin’s jersey. At the sight of Caitlin in front of her, Tobin let Lauren hold Patrick again before she knelt down and hugged her friend. It had been months since they had seen each other, but they talked to Caitlin and her mom occasionally. Now she was here in front of her and Tobin had no idea how she got there. 

 

     “Well let’s just say a certain Scotsman and I were talking and her might have let his plan to play you slip.” Jrue admitted. “We wanted to make this as memorable a return as possible for you Tobs.”

 

The midfielder thanked them for what they had done and continued talking to Caitlin. The young girl was telling her how she had been in remission now for a few months and was getting back doing normal kid stuff. “My mom finally let me get back in to soccer. I have been playing for most of the season and guess what number I am? Number seventeen, just like you!”

 

     “That’s great Caitlin! I am so happy happy for you.” Tobin laughed at how excited the little girl was. After the finished talking Caitlin went with Heif so he could introduce her to all the other players she had wanted to meet. As Tobin watched the ecstatic little girl she couldn’t help but smile and wonder if a little girl just like Caitlin was in her future. 

 

Tobin looked around the stadium in bliss as she thought about in her journey. She thought about her life and all she had been through up to this point and all that had happened. There were so many good things she could look back on; meeting Alex and getting to play with her, then finally getting the courage to ask her out, looking into her ocean blue eyes and knowing that she was the one, kneeling down and asking Alex to marry her and having her say yes. The day they got married was one of the best days of her life and it was the start of their new life together. From there they won an Olympic gold medal and a league championship, bought their first house, and found out they were going to be parents. 

 

All those good things and then it all seemed to go downhill from the day that Tobin found out she was sick. From there they had gone through so much and spiraled so much. Tobin wasn’t happy to admit that she had hit rock bottom towards the end of her radiation and she was ready to throw in the towel. She never wanted to give up, but things were just so hard. And then when she felt their son’s heart beat on her chest she had a new reason to fight. From then on, Tobin had a renewed sense of life and she was going to love every moment and make every second she had count. 

 

Sure there were scars on the outside scattered across her body and scars she had to deal with inside, but she had someone with her that she knew would help her through anything. There were always going to be good days and bad days, but the good one would overpower the bad. There was too much good in her life now to consider the bad. Tobin had overcome the worst disease you could have and she was healthy again, she got to play the game she loved so much, she had the best friends anyone could every ask for, she had an amazing wife who she loved with every fiber of her being and they had a son who brought her endless joy and she couldn’t wait to be with for the rest of her life. 

 

Alex pulled the midfielder from her thoughts when she came wrapped her arms around her and kissed her passionately. When they final broke apart Alex looked into her eyes with happiness, “You played amazing Tobin.” Tobin gave her another quick hug and told her about Caitlin before they wen track over to Lauren and Jrue. Amidst all the cheers and celebration after the game, the four of them had their own moment. Few words were spoken, but they all shared looks of understanding and relief, joy at how far they had come over the past year. 

 

Tobin took Patrick, resting him on her hip, then pulled the other midfielder into a hug. “Thank you Cheney for everything. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.” They stayed that way for a moment before Tobin turned to Jrue and let him pull her into his strong arms. She left him with a quick kiss on the cheek, “Thank you for holding me up, Jrue.”

 

Meanwhile, Alex hugged Jrue while Tobin was with Lauren. She too thanked him for being there for them in the worst of times and for helping for much with Tobin and Patrick. When she went to Lauren, they shared a teary hug. Lauren wiped the forward’s tears when they broke apart and told her things were good now and only going to be better. Alex nodded and took Tobin’s hand as they turned to leave, both of them giving one final nod of thanks to their friends. 

 

The couple walked hand in hand in hand through the masses of their teammates, congratulating them on the win. For the most part they stayed quiet reading each other’s thoughts. As they neared the edge of the field, Tobin looked around one final time. She took in the sight of the fans, the sounds of their cheers, and the feel of the air surrounding her. This was a feeling she had missed for so long and now that she was back, she would never take it for granted again. She would return to this stage again and for many years to come. She lived for the game, but also for the woman beside her and the baby in her arms, and hopefully more in the future. 

 

As they stepped off the field Tobin a silent prayer of thanks, thanks for her fight and for the new life she had been given. Alex gave thanks for not ending her wife’s life and for all the memories they would make together. They walked through the tunnel and into the peaceful silence it brought. Alex leaned into Tobin and the midfielder brought her hand around her waist and held Patrick close. 

 

Tobin gently kissed her son as he chuckled and then kissed Alex’s forehead, feeling the familiar shiver down her spine, a feeling that would never get old. “I Love you so much Lex!” They were a family and nothing would ever separate them again. It had not been an end of a life, but the beginning of a lifetime of joy, happiness, and family. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END!
> 
> Hope you liked it


End file.
